Thursday, July 18, 2013

A Whiff of Nostalgia

So, tonight, I had one of those nights where your mind just drifts.
It started with me looking back at old blog posts.
It's so weird, because I have written so many posts that I hardly recognize or remember some of them.
I look back and wonder what that stranger was thinking the day she wrote it.
Not like in a bad way, but in a curious way.

I also am thankful for details.
I realized a couple of things when looking back;
1. I detailed events. I wrote them in colors and with names. I am thankful for this, because it reminds me of things I've already forgotten and makes me smile at the way I described people or places or events.
2. I think Fall and Winter inspire me a whole ton more than Summer. But at the same time, it also gives me a weird kind of sad every now and then too. I guess because sometimes I feel lonely in the cold. However, I am still oh so very fond of the cold and sometimes that's when I'm most alive. Yet, I still get sadness sometimes. Nevertheless, it's very inspiring to me. Those seasons. It slows things down and speeds things up and I try to write about them the best I can with photos and music to aid my memory and ache for telling stories.
3. I also realized that I listened to music a whole lot more during the Fall/Winter. I think it's mainly because music is also inspiring. That, and I listen to music when I leave for school, when I'm doing homework, when I'm sitting in between classes, and etc. I also realized how much music influenced me.
For instance,
-  Lullaby by Creed takes me back to that dance class forever ago with the choreography that made me feel like a beautiful angel.
- Some Nights by Fun take me back to last Summer before my first year of College started up where I was in the mall with one of my best friends Erin and I heard the song for the 1st time and started dancing because I liked the beat.
- I'm Glad You Came by the Wanted reminds me of the small journey I got to take in Orlando with my sisters and Mom. Where we saw the American Idol concert, where they sang this ever so catchy song as their grand finale, and where we walked back and swam in the pool at midnight laughing at each other and enjoying company.
- The Avett Brothers remind me of Fall, the season in which my friend Julia introduced me to these Mountain Men type people.
- It's Time by Imagine Dragons take me to the night I was at your house, before our friendship started to dwindle, where we looked up the Perks of Being a Wallflower trailer and I instantly fell in love with both the trailer, and the song and anxiously awaited the movie's arrival.
- Mountain Sound by of Monsters and Men remind of this past Tuesday night where I discovered my love for them while riding in the car with Heidi on the way to get us some lattes on a spontaneous Summer night.

Want to know something?
I used that quote before in one of my blogs.
The weird thing is, I didn't remember using it.
I didn't remember the story that went a long with it.
I didn't know that that night I dressed up in a wedding dress and ate mint pie and rocked out to a Spanish radio station.
And so, those moments are now stories. 
Though at the time, they weren't stories.
When I posted it, they were moments.
It was happening.
How weird.

( Here's the post if you want to check out what I'm talking about...
There's just so much that happens in life. It's impossible to remember it all. Which is sad, because I want to remember it all. Because it all grew me and taught me and impacted me and brought me to where I am. It all has written my life story, and documented me. They were moments that now are memories. But I suppose that's what leads me back to my appreciation for this blog. It's only roughly a year old, but it has accounted so much. So many of my changes, my thoughts, my inspirations, my life. I didn't know it all was happening when it was, but it was and it is and I'm glad it's all there. I'm glad I can go back and visit the past events and remember the good times, and smile at the bad times knowing I got through them. I'm glad I can learn forgotten lessons and dream from my older dreams.
I'm glad I'll have stories for my children to read some day. So, they know what my life was like or what I thought or dreamt about. So they know how I do know how it feels to be their age.

Also, remember that one time I posted this picture;

And it just is so me.
I didn't remember it either.
But when I saw this picture I posted forever ago, I laughed.
Because this is still so me.
And I love it.
I'm glad I'm me.
For a very large portion of my life, I wasn't thrilled about being me.
But today, I look back upon all the things that are me, that I've done, that I do, and I'm glad to be me.
I'm happy about life.
And I'm inspired by my past self to go out there and make some more moments.
Create some more memories.
And then to tell some more stories.
I'm ready to live.


  1. So. Much. Love. Lovvvve. Mind if I pin this post?

    1. No, not at all. :) I'd be honored!!!

  2. How lovelyyyyyyyy!!

    I think it's funny how you and I have followed eachother for awhile now, and at first we were both really good about reading/commenting each other's posts. But lately we've both gone back and forth, not reading/commenting/posting to each other and we end up playing catch-up. But it's kinda just funny to me, because always when I go back to read your blog I am inspired, and wonder why I stopped stopping by on a regular basis (granted, I've been lazy about blogging all around lately).

    Anyway, I did love this post. I love the idea of making memories. I've actually had a whole summer full of them. And it's great, but also makes me a bit sad, because I've realized how much I've worked this year and didn't take time to make so many memories before the summer.