Saturday, February 28, 2015

An awkward but not too unpleasant Friday...

A test retake, an in class essay, stupid YouTube videos, half an hour drives, fancy house with a dock and a view of the sea, adorable children banging on guitars and missing the point of the game spoons, quesadillas and tacos, pound cake with strawberries and whipped cream, a white small dog named Baby, a half an hour drive back with coffee and music to fill in the awkward silences consuming the car, a flashback to my teenager days due to the music which played, a sleepover, way too many pretzels, The Lego Movie, sleep. Friday was interesting, but it was good overall.

Friday, February 27, 2015

Thursday Thankfulness

Yesterday was another day full of spontaneity and surprises.
It's going in the book of favorite days.
Yesterday evening was spilled coffee on my part and spilled hot chocolate on my friend's part and uncontrollable laughter.
It was impromptu pancake getting (and free pancakes mind you) at Ihop with my roommate in which we got to catch up and have fun.
It was Resistance playing.
It was a night where some of us didn't want it to end.
And so, we walked around campus.
Then my good friend and I convinced two other people to go with us across the way and stood on the small beach watching the "stars" (also known as city lights) reflect across the water and the dark clouds and vastness of the sky swallow us up.
It was being "bio majors" and examining the grass.
It was talking about the Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy.
It was examining a dead snake in the grass.
It was waiting until curfew to go back inside.
Some moments are indescribable and yesterday moments I have tried to put in some words, but really, the only place to keep them all are in my mind bank. I can try to describe it to you all,
but only from a distance. You can't grasp the memories like I can. It's too far away for you to see them clearly.
But one day I will read this post again and I will smile as the memories come back to my brain and I see them again.
Thursday was good.
Thursday felt like living.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Wonderful Wednesday

Today was one of the best wednesdays I've had.
It was a day of prayer at my school and it was full of chapel, speakers, prayers, and fellowship until about 12:30.
Then my two close friends and I went to chikfila and I slurped up some free coffee goodness while we laughed and drew extremely accurate pictures of each other. 
Then I worked on a paper and got almost all of it finished.
Then I came back and played a board game with friends for two hours.
Then all of that group went to dinner and ate together and laughed and played cups and did a salt and pepper trick and it was just great.
Then I went on a refreshing run with one of my unitmates.
It was a very, very great day.

I'm thankful for breaks. I'm thankful for friends. I am thankful for the day I have been granted to live.
I'm thankful for my Lord and Savior.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Mercies Anew

"Every morning that breaks
There are mercies anew
Every breath that I take
Is your faithfulness proved
And at the end of each day
When my labors are through
I will sing of Your mercies anew

When I’ve fallen and strayed
There were mercies anew
For you sought me in love
And my heart you pursued
In the face of my sin
Lord, You never withdrew
So I sing of Your mercies anew

And Your mercies, they will never end
For ten thousand years they’ll remain
And when this world’s beauty has passed away
Your mercies will be unchanged

And when the storms swirl and rage
There are mercies anew
In affliction and pain
You will carry me through
And at the end of my days
When Your throne fills my view
I will sing of Your mercies anew
I will sing of Your mercies anew"

I'm leaving this hymn here because I really needed this today and I thought maybe someone else might too.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Rootbeer on Front Porches soaking up the Summer Sun

I love Summer more than I used to.
I used to get bored of the unending days of Summer.
But right now, I'm craving the Summer sun.
I'm craving beach days and Rita's ice cream.
I crave a country home with a front porch swing drinking rootbeers or cokes out of glass bottles.
I crave green grass that I can run my bare feet through.
I crave trips and adventures.
I crave a summer job.
I crave occasional days of sleeping in.
I crave summer walks with my sisters.
I don't know exactly what my summer has planned for me.
And I actually don't necessarily want to skip to it just yet.
I am enjoying the rest of my winter/beginning of spring.
But when I watch movies with summer scenes, it makes me miss summer and daydream.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Chinese New Years and Church World Cup Soccer Tournament/Missions presentations

Chinese food and tan skin.
Mulan watching and soccer playing.
Missions weekend.
Downton Abbey.
Guitar Playing.
Dog hugging.

Sometimes I really love the weekends.

Friday, February 20, 2015

Frozen Air and Orangey Skies

Yesterday was a day, that's for sure.
I had a test, I spent some time with my sister, tasted an interesting new starbucks concoction (tiramisu latte), napped, inhaled the cold air like a dragon, socialized, watched "magic tricks", played basketball while admiring the orangey sky as the sun melted until it was a puddle on the ground, watched Steel Magnolias, guzzled some coffee, went to drama club, played a game called statues, and watched Hitch with a group of friends for the first time.
Today it's officially the weekend and there is a grin on my face because even though this week had some perks, it also felt very long and I need a two and a half day break. Yay for weekends!!

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside...

Just kidding. There is no storm inside of me right now. I'm blissful. But the outside wind is killer.
I can hear it thrashing at my window and somehow it soothes me.
Tonight was pleasant conversations with pleasant people, criminal minds, group studying, Dutch Blitz, hot cocoa, cold air, watching stupid videos with friends, warmth and blankets and lights and peace.
There can be simple days that are also perfect days.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Red Umbrellas

And rainy days.
Today was a day of rain.
It was the smell of rain, it was the sound lulling me to sleep for an afternoon nap.
It was walking in the rain with my red umbrella reflecting everything around me while my eyes soaked in every little thing.
It was the night all lit up while the rain illuminated and brought the colors to life.
It was coffee warming my blood as I walked with my friend through the rain.
And then I ventured on my own without my umbrella through the rain.
But it wasn't lonely.
It was pleasant as I sang songs with the sound of rain hiding my cracked, average voice.
Yes, the rain was totally okay today.

It wasn't a sobering, dampening the mood type of rain but an adventurous, lively rain that makes you appreciate the stillness of the life and the soothing sound of nature and the luscious lights.

Raindrops and car lights,
Sing me to sleep tonight.

A girl can- and should- dream

It's talking about going to the observation deck at the airport and watch airplanes take off while eating buckets of chicken as the breezes caress and flip our hair in every which way.

It's talking about going to Ihop for pancakes at 2 am since it's open 24 hours and tasting those delicate fluffy beasts and sipping coffee that will burn your tongue if you don't sip it fast enough.

It's the small things talked about with friends that may or may not come true but are fun to imagine and dream about.

I don't know, there are so many good things about this life. So many adventures I want to have. But so many I probably won't get the chance to do in my life. But that's okay, because sometimes just dreaming about it is good enough for me.

Yesterday wasn't so bad. I had three cups of coffee. I quoted youtube videos with my friends. I read and discussed a creepy poem in class. I ate chocolate covered strawberries. I wrote a narrative paper. I took a walk to clear my head and the clouds covered the stars. But then I took a walk with my friend and suddenly the clouds disappeared and I saw the stars shining down on me. The funny thing is, this isn't a metaphor. The clouds really did disappear when I walked with my friend. But at the same time it did mirror how I felt. I needed to clear my head which is why I went for a walk, but it did seem lonely instead of pleasant. However, when I walked and talked with my friend everything seemed okay and the stars agreed with me I guess. Then we played a game with a good group of people. A group of people that sing songs with me when random songs pop into my head. People that are on the same level of crazy as me.

I always kind of felt like I would never find people who got me. I spent a good portion of my highschool years trying to find more than one person who would get me and not think I was weird and who would mirror my awkwardness. But now, I found people without looking for them and it feels nice and it feels right. Finding people with the same ideas as you. Who see things the way you do. It's nice.

Now I am sitting here writing and listening to Transatlanticism and I found this awesome verse; 
"He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." -- Colossians 1:13-14 and I'm so filled with love right now.

Long rambling story short: dream, appreciate, hold tight to the good in life, and love.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Number your breaths, but don't count them.

Number your breaths,
But don't count them.

Keep your eyes closed,
Until the ghosts tickle your lids.

Until the memories sprinkle into your brains and shake off the dust lathered on the temporal lobe reawakening senses you had long forgotten about.

That's when you can open your eyes, and that's when you should open your eyes.
When your eyes open, tell me what you see.

But I must warn you, when you open your eyes, you will not be able to be who you once were.

Yes, that is a scary thing.
No, it is not a bad thing.

You see, I think you'll actually realize you've been changing for awhile now.

You just notice it more when you open up your eyes and unpack your memories where the ghost people dance to songs that you used to like and you realize you have forgotten all the lyrics you once knew all the words to.

Number your breaths,
But don't count them.

Because, my dear, they are far too numerous to count.

Close the boxes when you're ready to close your eyes and sleep off the memories tugging on the purple underneath your eyes.

Close your eyes when you're ready to open them when daylight strikes and when you're ready to live again so that when the ghosts tickle your eyelids in the future and the memories sprinkle into your brain and the dust is shaken and the ghost people dance, you will see a bigger change in you and realize the box of memories have become bigger than the refrigerator box rockets you used to fly in as a kid and you will smile and you will cry and you will number your breaths but you won't count them.

Friday, February 13, 2015


Yesterday was free coffee, Thai food, chocolates, walking, surprises, monopoly, Sydney White, and unit bonding through freaking out and anxiously awaiting a fire drill that would never come and going to bed at one in the morning. I am so thankful for my friends here. My roommate and unit are the best. Sometimes we get on each other's nerves or are too stressed and busy to enjoy time with each other but yesterday was beautiful and made me thankful to have them around. There were many memories and laughs had that I will treasure in my heart. And today, the air is crisp and the day is crisp and it's the weekend. <3

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

The Old and the New

Today was another day of adventures and possibility and dreams and mysteries. The whole future is a dear mystery and the past is a lovely story no matter the bruises and heartache intricately woven in it. Today, my friends and I looked at each other's past pictures and videos. It was weird seeing pieces of them and memories they held that I've never seen before and can only touch and see from a distance. I don't know and can't know what memories were attached to those photos or feelings they felt. But there's something beautiful in seeing a person and pieces of their past that molded them into who they are today. When I look back upon old pictures and videos, I taste the bittersweet juice in my mouth but I also can't help but feel the surge of adventure and excitement of the whole lot of life I have left to live. It's a beautiful gift and a beautiful life.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Sing me to Sleep

Today was a full of surprises, go with the flow kind of day and I liked it.
I felt very much like myself today.
Some days I feel stressed and nervous and I have no idea why and then it makes it hard to be myself. But today felt comfortable like a pair of old dreams and re-reading the Harry Potter series.
I did homework, I listened to Disney songs, I watched criminal minds, I went to classes, I ate a chocolate chip ice cream sandwich, I wrote, I took a nap, I got coffee with a friend, I learned how to play poker for the first time and came in second place, I saw a drama monologue about love, I spent time with my friends, I took a walk in the cold, I finished a book.
It was a comfortable, pleasurable day.
It was a fresh breathe between my Monday and this Wednesday.
Also, the book of Isaiah.
I'm reading through the 40's in Isaiah.
Those are incredibly moving.
Our God is very much praiseworthy.
To the ends of the earth He should be praised.
Always and Forever.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Misty Mountains and the Mondayiest Monday of Them All

If there was ever a day in my life that looked most like a Monday,
I feel like today would be it.
It started with getting up at 7 am,
then it proceeded with the promise of pancakes and the smell of disappointment when it was just eggs,
then came a long my 8 o'clock class.
Proceeding that was a nap.
Then lunch time where my knife fell into a bottomless pit of nacho dip.
Then it was manning a fundraiser for an hour and a half, while the rain poured down and my eyes drooped as nobody bought anything and I was just tired and still sick and wanting to sleep for hours on end.
Then more classes and another nap.
Oh, and, more rain.
It was just a Monday.
But it's not too bad.
 Because then there was chickfila coffee and a chocolate chip cookie.
It was homework with friends.
And now it's snuggling up in my blanket with only my red and white lights around the bed on and listening to Misty Mountains and blogging.
So, it's okay.
Because even though the rain can look like a Monday, it can also cure a Monday.

Thursday, February 5, 2015


ice cream,
Iron Man,
blogging while listening to "Touch the Sky",
lots of sleep.
I feel like sick days help you grow.
Sick days remind you that sometimes it's okay to kick back and relax.
Sometimes it's okay to have a lovely date night with yourself.
Sometimes you need it.
At college I feel like I have turned a corner and become more extroverted.
I like being busy.
I love playing games.
I love going on walks.
I love getting to hang out with multiple people throughout the day.
It even got to the point where calmer days, I felt antsy staying in my bedroom for longer than an hour.
But today, I feel completely okay being by myself.
It's not always fun but I think sickness can be a blessing in ways.
Would I have relaxed a bit and had a day to myself if I wasn't sick?
Who knows.
But probably not.
God knows what He's doing, always.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

I had a dream there were clouds in my coffee

Clouds of coffee,
a foggy mind,
a Spanish test
rainy streets,
talks with the best friend.
Some days are good and some days are semi-crummy at the same time.
I leave the crumbs for the mice though.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015


I don't remember a time where I laughed as much as I do now.
Laughter is a regular action of mine now.
It's something that people can coin me with.
It's something  I really don't mind being known for.
If  can be known for my laughter and my love, I am totally okay with that.
I know there's not always a time to laugh,
but if there is a time to do it, you should.
It is the best medicine.
Life should be lived with joy because we have the greatest gift in the world.
I know we can't always be joyful, but I know my life has been filled with a lot more laughter than  I have been used to.
I've a seed of joy planted in me and I can only hope that it continues growing.
Speaking of seeds, my roommate brought seeds that will turn into flowers, and it's a long our windowsill and I am excited for it to grow and bloom as life does.
I will whisper words to the seeds and help them grow.
I will aim to do that because word whisperer's are people to be admired.
Not everyone can whisper words even though they help seeds grow...
But everyone can shout words unaware that they are scaring the seeds and withering the future flowers.
whisper in the loud shouts,
bring light to the dark places,
live your life in joy

Monday, February 2, 2015

Rain Or Shine

Let me tell you about the day of yesterday and day of today. It consisted of basketball, dutchblitz, Resistance, the day I ate a cow, macadamia nut cookies, the day the rain became my mood, the cozy bed and morning naps, Parenthood Finale, walks, country music, the reading of Huckleberry Finn which makes me crave rivers and cornbread, superbowl parties where we didn't watch the superbowl at all, laughs and laughs and laughs.
I'm okay with the rain right now.
I'm okay with the song; "If you ask me to" by Mackenzie Porter playing right now.
I'm okay with this Monday.