Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Words I Will Tell My Daughter Someday

 You will think that men are knights in shining armor. Especially if the compliment you. Tell you that you are pretty and nice. You will think that a cute and kind guy is the guy for you. But that may not be true. Behind the armor is where it counts and matters. You need someone with more than flattering words. You need someone with meaningful words. With meaningful actions. With a meaningful heart. You need someone who doesn’t just look at you. But someone who sees you. Sees your heart, your beauty, your passions, the reasons why you exist and what makes your life worth living. You need someone who sees you and understands you. Not just someone who says “I'm sorry” when you're sad. But someone who embraces you and whispers words of comfort and love in your ear and holds your hand and sings you a lullaby when you have trouble sleeping. You need someone who won’t just be a someone to you. There will be men who will pretend to be your someone and will try to charm you and who will break your heart and it will hurt. But when your someone comes a long, it will be more than worth it. Guard your heart, my dear. Guard it and wait. Wait for your someone. 

Monday, May 23, 2016

Appearances are not what they always seem to be

You smelled like a long lasting candle but you were actually the smoke that lingered seconds after the flame was blown out. 

I need a candle.
Not it's leftover smoke.

I will not let myself be to someone,
nothing more than a mere joke.

I will not let myself get caught on someone who darkens my lungs,
who makes me choke.

I need a candle.
Not it's leftover smoke.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Singleness (Yes, I am bringing it up again)

Yes, I brought up the dreaded word; "Singleness." Sometimes I don't fancy it because I imagine all these scenarios of having a boyfriend and the things we'd do on dates and all that jazz (if you're a single girl, I'm sure you understand how it is). But other times, I am completely okay. Today is a day where I realized I am completely okay. Some day (maybe, I mean it's not written in stone) I might have a boyfriend that may someday become my husband. But right now I don't and that's okay. Because right now my life is just about to blossom. It might take some time (I'm finding out as job searching is not quite as easy as I thought) but college is done and my career is something for me to figure out. But before I get whatever job it is I am supposed to have, I realize I am not wanting a boyfriend right now. This past weekend I had a wonderful time with some of my family and one of my best friends going to disney world. Tonight, I had yet another wonderful evening spent getting pie and coffee with another one of my best friends. I am so happy and content that I get to have moments like these. I am not saying I can't have both moments with my boyfriend and moments with my best friends and family, but things are going to have to change. In fact, the friend I went to disney world with is going to go back up to MA soon and maybe she'll come back but maybe she won't. I don't know yet. And my other best friend that I got pie with is hopefully going to work at a hospital as a nurse as soon as she passes her boards. And hopefully I'll get a job soon too. And our time will be limited. I won't always have as many available moments to spend with my friends and family. So, right now I'm content and happy that my time can be filled with them. One day (again, hopefully and possibly), I'll have a lifetime of moments to spend with my husband. But right now, I think I am given some of this time of singleness to be spent with some really amazing friends and family.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016


Sunday Night.
Disney Mix CD.
Chicken Fries.
Saratoga Springs Resort.
Horse Themed.
Huge Hotel.
Walks To The Pool.
Plans for the Next Day.
Artist's Palette Restaurant and Shop.
Ginormous Cookie.
Walk Back to Room.
Watching Tarzan in a Huge Comfy Hotel Bed.
Walking Up Early.
Delicious Joffery Coffee.
Walk Down to Breakfast.
Mickey Waffles + More Coffee.
Bus Ride to Magic Kingdom.
Pictures in front of the Castle.
New Dwarf Mine Train Ride.
Buzz Lightyear Ride.
Peter Pan.
Magic Pixie Dust.
Ariel Ride.
Haunted Mansion.
Fairytale Parade.
Splash Mountain.
Thunder Mountain.

It was a good Sunday and a good Monday. :)

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Face the Storms; Wait for the Rainbows

Henna Tattoos, Dolphin Watching, Easy Breezes, Too Much Buttered Popcorn, Coffee Nights in Booths With Good Music Vibrating In My Ears, Piano Playing/ Singing, Matching Shirts, Planned Trips, Skype Chat Dates, Disney Adventures Soon To Be Had, Movie Experiences, Safari Rides, Petting Water Buffalo, Appreciating Friendships, Lebanese Restaurants.

So, job hunting had been a bit stressful. I'm still waiting to hear back from a lot of applications. I know it takes time to find jobs and it's a process. I have been very impatient and I have been dwelling on the fact that I do not have a job and I need to find one.

But today-
I'm going to appreciate the good things that have been happening.
There's been a lot that I've been over looking.
Tonight I took a step back and I had a moment where I was living life and I just took a moment to appreciate it.
So, now I'm going to share the moments that I've been having and not treasuring.
Because I need to be treasuring them. 

I will face the storms when they come,
And I will wait for the rainbows.

Monday, May 9, 2016

Once Upon a Time

There was an insecure girl who cared about what other people thought about her. When she liked an attractive guy and he went for the pretty, normal, and not quite as weird girl, she felt insecure. She didn’t feel as proud of herself as she did before she met this attractive guy. She once was proud of her accomplishments and okay with how she looked until she met this guy and this guy didn’t give her the light of day. Well, this girl is okay now. She still struggles from time to time but her self worth is not found in this one guy’s opinion of her. The truth is that just because he is attractive, it doesn’t make him great. And even though he is nice, he is not perfect. Likewise, it doesn’t matter about the beauty on the outside but it matters of what’s inside and sure this girl needs to work on a few things, but she still has merit in what she is. She is not normal. She is sometimes weird but the thing is, she saw the inside of this guy and there was a lot of weird in him too. So, if this guy doesn’t value the weirdness in this girl, that’s on him. Because it’s okay to be a little weird. This girl is okay with being herself now just like she was before she met him and before she strove to meet his approval. She doesn’t need his approval anymore. She has her own and that’s enough. She doesn’t need to prove herself to anyone. She doesn’t need to listen to anyone’s opinion anymore. She is okay. She has value. And one day she’ll find the one who will appreciate her and love her for who she is. Or if she doesn’t, it’s better to be by herself than with one who doesn’t value her for who she is and tries to make her meet his standards. Because she is not changing for anyone. She is okay with herself and so the one for her will be okay with her too or she will not need another person.

Saturday, May 7, 2016

So I've Got My Degree

Now, how do I use it?
Or what do I do?
I'm looking for a job.

 I'd love for it to be a writing job but I highly doubt that I'm going to find one in my local area and since I don't have a car right now... I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon.

So, I'm looking for any place that is hiring.

You know what's funny?
I didn't think it'd be that hard.

You can go to job hiring websites and they seem easy enough to figure out...
But it's not quite as simple as it seems.

I know I have got a lot more time to find one and I need to do a lot more praying,
but it's stressing me out a bit.

I guess I just wish I had some references or ideas of where there are places that are hiring and just knew what I would be good at and where I am supposed to be.

College wasn't thaaat much of a challenge for me because I knew where I was supposed to be.
I was supposed to be taking classes and I knew I was doing that for four years.

Now I know I have to find a job but it's not something you just go up to and they basically accept you right away.

 I guess there was a possibility that the colleges I went to could have not accepted me but I just kind of assumed they would accept me and they did.

And school is something you have been doing for a long time.

So, even if some of the classes were difficult and some of the teachers may have not been the best,
it was still something I knew what to do and how to handle it and how to overcome it.

But it's gone now.

Well, for now.

And now I need to find a job and it will take time and I don't know what job and I don't know who will accept me and I feel pressured.

I don't know what steps to take to get me to where I need to be.

I know I'll get there with God's guidance.
But I'm needing a lot of faith right now because I feel highly lost and uncertain right now about my future.
And I'm gonna need some patience. 
That's for sure.

Anyways, have any of you struggled with this?
Got any advice?
Do any of you know of any online jobs that are hiring?
Do any of you know of jobs that are hiring in the seminole/largo area?

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Go Live Your Dream

So, it's been a bit.
I graduated this past Saturday and I've kind of been letting that sink in,
and the sort.

I already miss it.
I miss Warner.
I miss my friends.
I miss the opportunities.
I never thought I would, but I did.

But, to quote Harry Potter;
"I open at the close."

I close that chapter now and it's now opened to the rest of my life.

I can wait and I will be taking it slowly,
but my career and future awaits me now.

So, I appreciate prayer as I am finding out what God wants for me and the steps to getting there.
I appreciate for prayer in job searching and being patient.
I appreciate prayer for guidance.
I appreciate prayer.

Now it's time to live my dream.