Sunday, January 31, 2016

He and She

She grew daisies out of her hand,
He flew airplanes but never learned how to land.
She was a rockstar without a band,
He promised her the ocean's shore but forgot the sand.

Tell me is this a dream or a nightmare?
I told you the truth was right but I never said it was fair.

Friday, January 29, 2016

If all hearts were made out of chocolate...

They'd all melt.
Thank goodness they are made of veins and muscles.
Tougher material,
Which wins all card hands that are dealt.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Dear Friend

Dear Friend,

I don't know if you're there. If you're reading this. If you're listening to the words I try to speak to you through my writing. Sometimes I feel like I'm writing to the air. I really want to make words count. I want them to mean something. I want them to inspire. I don't know if that will happen. I don't know if the future holds a place for me to share life with you in book form. I don't know whether my dreams will come true or if I'll fall short. But I do know life has its ups and downs and right now I am feeling the downs. And sometimes the downs come out of nowhere. But right now I feel like no one is listening and I feel alone with my mind, That's why I'd really appreciate it if someone could let me know they hear, they experience that too sometimes and that it'll be okay. But I guess in the end, I already know that. Because my dearest friend of all holds the universe in His hands and my future too. So it'll be okay. But sometimes it's nice to hear it out of human's lips or words. So, I guess that's why I'm writing to you friend. I'm not Charlie, but when Charlie wrote to his dear friend, I felt like I should do the same. And if you don't get the reference, I am sorry.


Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Welcome to New York

I really want to feel the enchantment of N.Y.C.
Maybe someday?
Maybe someday...

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Tell Me Something

Leave me a story. Please. It'll make you'll feel better. Write about a first love. About a perfect day. About why you're sad. About your favorite literary character. About where you would go if you could travel anywhere. It's your turn to be the writer. Comment. Write what's on your heart. See how it feels.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Just thoughts

Sometimes life tastes like gum drops and other times it tastes like cough drops.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

And More

Things I like:

-The ocean
-The woods
-The mountains
-me time
-people time
-the smell of fire
-vw vans
-teal, sunset orange, forest green, sky blue, lavender purple, salmon pink, mud brown
-inspirational and based on a true story movies
-the world
-british tv shows/movies
-photography in general
-train tracks
-brick and old buildings
-anything that expresses ones self
-when you can see people's eyes light up when they talk about something they are passionate about
-the smell of coffee, amber, and cherry blossoms
-classic literature
-people who stand by their own opinions and aren't afraid to share them
-twenty-one pilots
-death cab for cutie
-the warm feeling of the sun on your skin and the taste of salt water
-the feeling of freedom when you are on top of/a mountain
-the feeling of determination
-brave people
-old souls
-horses, dogs, tigers, otters, dolphins, lions, bobcats, panda bears, foxes, polar bears, and more
-company even if it's silent company
-hand holding
-sharing memories
-things with meaning
-being wrapped up in a blanket on a cold day
-loving and being loved
-little children who aren't too bratty
-johnny depp
-people are kind of crazy and insane but also brilliant and fascinating
-predictability sometimes and spontaneity other times
-breakfast and cute breakfast places
-more specifically: waffles
-when people have odd things they do without noticing like biting their lips when thinking or tapping their feet to the music
-people who aren't afraid to be themselves
-people who stand up for what's right no matter what
-people who view the world in different ways
-the dead poet's society
-classy people
-feeling safe
-God moments
-when you finally pick up your bible and intently read and are refreshed because that's what your soul needed
-chicken noodle soup and movie/tv marathons when sick
-Jesus and when He reminds me of His greatness
-when I see God working in someone's life
-organizes messes

Monday, January 18, 2016

I'm not a loner. I'm just alone .

Tonight coming back to my room and taking a long shower and singing at the top of my lungs as loud as I can and putting up kitchen supplies and putting up my Polaroids and making tea before finishing up some school work, might just have been the most relaxing thing I've done for a long time. I feel like an adult, a Senior, and free. I'm not a loner. But sometimes I like a few moments alone to belt out songs and take long showers and put up decorations and think.

Saturday, January 16, 2016

If Only We Were Like Job

I'm currently reading through Job.
And honestly,
it just blows my mind when I read through it.
Job was tormented.
He lost so much.
His livestock, his children, his health.
He suffered.
We suffer.
Us humans.
We suffer.
But I don't think we usually suffer like that.
I know I haven't.
But Job never denied God or doubted for a second that God has a reason for what He was doing.
He knew he had not done anything wrong and he did not understand what God was doing,
and yes he got angry at this,
but he still didn't question God's might or reasons.
He wanted to know God's reasons, but he didn't doubt that God had reasons.

We suffer.
But usually we don't suffer like that.
And people often question and doubt.
When things don't go our way.
We lose a friend.
We suffer with our feelings.
We don't understand.
We question.

We need to be more like Job.
It's okay not to know.
It's okay to wonder.
It's okay to not understand.
But there is no reason to question.

We must trust our Savior, our deliverer.
He made us, created us, He is all knowing, and He holds the universe in His hands.
He knows what He is doing.
He has a plan for each and every one of us.
He can see all of our lives, all of our hearts.
He sees our pasts, presents, and futures.
He knows how everything will work out and how everything needs to be for it to work out.
We can't see what will happen to us in 5 minutes.
In a day.
In the next day.
We can't,
We don't see the bigger picture.
He does.
We shouldn't question.
We shouldn't get angry at what we do not know.
We must trust.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Can You save my heavydirtysoul?

A cup of tea, some William Faulkner, and The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Alone time can be nice.

Oh, and the answer is yes.
God can save my heavydirtysoul.
And He does, every day.
He makes it light and He makes it white as snow.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Today (or i guess yesterday now) was a good day

Times like these I am reminded of what a beautiful gift friendship and laughter are.
I am blessed.
In troubling times,
friendship always trumps it.
I have been to three colleges now and every college has had it's struggles but every college I have made friends, and friends have always helped me through whatever the struggles were.
I have a feeling that's how life is.
I know after college life won't get any easier.
But I know I'll continue to make friends and that they will still help me and hopefully I can help them.
Friendship is such a sweet gift.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Why, Hello Moon

And today the moon smiled at me so I smiled back.
And the cold air gave me something to smile at.
And the bonfire kept me warm.
And so did the posters in my dorm.

No, today wasn't half bad.

So as the moon smiled,
I decided to smile back.

Monday, January 11, 2016

I felt lonely

But then you speckled the sky with stars so I could see so clear as they were scintillating and sparkling like an diamond sky and they were full of constellations and stories to tell and then,

I felt a little less lonely. 

Because You care oh Lord.
You care so much.
And You love so much.
You're here for me,
and even though I can't see You,
I can see what you have done and I can see what you have created for us,
And I know You're here.
And I'm okay.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

This Is It, It's Tiime

I'm sitting on my bed surrounded by twinkling lights with a room that actually makes me feel like I am at home and I'm by myself but I'm not lonely and I am listening to Coldplay's "Atlas" and I am just ready. I was nervous and I was apprehensive. But now I am back at my dorm for my last college semester before I graduate and I've got this new haircut and it's a new year and I am ready. I'm not sitting here worrying anymore because I don't know where this feeling came from but I feel confident about this semester and I feel okay with the fact that my future lies ahead and very soon and I don't know what it holds after I graduate. I am excited and I don't know why. Maybe it's the twinkling comforting lights or maybe it's because God has given me peace and I'm thinking that's the answer and oh my do I serve a mighty and wonderful God. It's time to begin, isn't? I get a little bit bigger but then I'll admit I'm just the same as I was. Imagine Dragons got it right. Even though I am just the same as I once was, it's time to begin.

Friday, January 8, 2016

Comma, Mark

I was a phrase,
you were a comma mark.

I was a rooted tree,
you a boat about to embark.


Which ones of these make histories and which one makes fables?

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Don't You Know It's Gonna Be Alright

In the movie "Across the Universe", they take a Beatles song called "I want you (she's so heavy)" in it and make it about something that the original song writer had not intended it to be. They make it about the Vietnam war and how one of the characters from that movie is enlisted even though he doesn't want to be. They show the "I want you" posters as the song plays and for the "she's so heavy" lyric, they show the character and many other enlisted people in the army carrying the Statue of Liberty. I thought the concept was interesting. The picture of these people carrying this huge statue symbolizing freedom and how heavy the price of freedom is. And it is, truly heavy. We remember that when we hear about our fallen soldiers. This land we are standing on, this land we are living in, it came with the price of death. And oh what a blessing it is to be here. But that also makes me think of the freedom of our sin. The cost of that freedom was even heavier. The freedom of sin is what gave us real life. One can live on earth without truly living. If you have no purpose for being here, what is the point of life? And then there comes a point when every human being has to die. Whether they are free in the terms of freedom of speech, freedom of religion, or whatever it is, we all will still freely die. But the freedom of our sin liberates us from death. That freedom gives us eternal life if we choose to accept it. That cost was so heavy. So heavy that a King left His heavenly throne and came to earth to die on a cross so His blood would free us from the chains of sin so we could have life and live it to the fullest. So we could have life with Him in Heaven after we die and have an eternal one. Jesus says "I want you". And the price He paid was so heavy. But He did because He loved us. Because He loves us. Because He wants us.

It may be sort of an interesting comparison but when I thought about the concept they put to the Beatles song that really had nothing to do with the War or the weight of our freedom, it made me think of a concept that I am positive the people who put that concept to the Beatles song had never thought of. 

"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy. I have come so that you may have life and have it in all it's fullness."

 -- John 10:10

And to quote another Beatles song;

"It's gonna be alright."

Jesus wins. 
If you put your faith in Him, you can have without a doubt have the assurance that it's going to be alright.

Monday, January 4, 2016

Swallowing Embers

I swallowed embers in the sky,
the day the tree burned and died.
And the constellations, I'm just sure, matched the colors of your eyes.
And in the car, a sad song came on that made me want to cry.
But the feeling didn't last,
Though the burning tree and the purple-blue song made me think of the past.
And the future makes me scared,
Because what if's haunt me like the people who never cared.
But life is the song that will never fade,
Because the memories surround us just like the ones that have never been made.
Am I losing my mind or losing the words?
To say what has never and always have been heard.
If I click my heels will I still get my wish?
Or did I lose my chance when I crouched in that ditch,
Where I sought myself but only found a handful of sand,
for miles and miles,
miles of what?
Miles of bodies trying to make sense of life,
trying to describe what they were feeling inside,
and coming up short,
because we always get the short end of the stick,
or do we constantly choose to pick it?
That's what I found out when my eyes saw myself knee deep in sin.
We are broken people, broken men and woman.
Losing because we never put faith in the one who won.
You don't live until your life has finally begun,
it will not begin until you seek Him,
it will not begin until you find Him,
it will not begin until you give yourself up each and every day,
until you say Here I am Lord,
and walk away,
from the chains,
the noose,
your selfish ambitions hanging loose,
leave the weight on the ground,
let the blood of Jesus wipe it away,
then your old life will rot and decay,
you will be transformed, renewed, and new.
You will start to become you.
So swallow the embers,
Look up at the stars,
but don't forget who made you who you are.

Sunday, January 3, 2016


This past week felt magical really.
I'm going to touch on things I did not get to catch you up on.
Besides my Tuesday of train rides, christmas tree maple latte, snow, christmas lit shops and snow,
there was more magic.
Wednesday was full of more snow, a sleigh ride with Sam and Sunny pulling us and free hot chocolate and a fleece blanket to warm us. 
It had more coffee, more lit shop walks, more snow.
I also watched "The Holiday Inn" for the first time.
It's a classy movie with Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire and song and dance.
It was fun. 
New year's Eve held breakfast at this cute charming little place called; "The Blueberry Muffin" and they id indeed have the best muffins. 
They grilled their muffins.
After that we stopped by a place called "The Christmas Loft" where I saw the most christmas decorations and ornaments I have ever seen in my life as well as some creepy/fascinating animatronics and talking trees and cows.
Then we headed down the "Kangamangus" scenic road and witnessed beautiful snow covered pine trees and the White Mountains with breathtaking views that looked like pictures from postcards.
After we went through that, we went to Santa's Village.
We spent the evening seeing so many christmas lights reflecting beautifully on patches of snow.
Eating free pretzels, food, donuts, and hot cocoa.
Riding christmas themed rides while it snowed some more.
And lastly, watching fireworks before we headed back to our cabin.
Friday, New Year's Day, we took it easy.
We slept in and then we headed out to follow our New Year's tradition of going out to eat oriental food on New Years.
I drank some thai tea, ate pad thai and dumplings.
Then, we stopped at some more cute shops.
Afterwards, we came back to the cabin and ate some of our snacks, played family fued, watched "A Christmas Story", made New Year's Purposes, and played deer in the headlights and went to bed.
Our last day we made our way to Manchester and stopped to eat lunch at a cute placed called "Village Kitchen" which had this grand view of the mountains.
Then we made it to our hotel in which we stayed our last night at. 
Lastly, we went and visited my best friend's house and met her family in Massachusetts and had a great wonderful evening and an authentic Lebanese meal.
Then we came back to the hotel and at 4:00 am this morning we made our way to the airport and I am now happily home but already missing the wonderful, magical week I had in a winter wonderland that I just don't get in FL.

Sadly, I didn't get to see a Moose. However, I really really like the charming appeal of New Hampshire and it's downtown areas. And I really, really like snow. It is magical. I felt like I was in Narnia for bits and pieces of the trip. I just loved it. And I miss it. But I am so thankful for the time I got to spend there.

How was your New Year's Eve and New Year's Day?
What did you all do?
I wish you all a wonderful 2016!