Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Am I swimming or sinking?

I'm not even sure right now. 
I guess I'm being dramatic though.
I'm just frustrated.

I'm trying to get a long and swim here and sometimes it seems like things are getting better.
But other times, I just don't get how I turn into a bad guy.
Because I won't let a girl copy my homework, I am the bad guy.
Because I don't take kindly to in your face guys who think they can nickname you after meeting them one time and hang on to you like a leech, I get word spread about me around that I'm a snob.

No, I know making right decisions will make me unlikable.
Jesus was a perfect and He was hated by many.
It's something that's going to happen in life.

I just don't like it though.

I'm trying to adjust, I'm trying to find my place here, this is where I was called to be.

But it is hard sometimes.

I'd rather be where my friends and family are who love me and encourage me,
but I know sometimes we aren't called to be encouraged.

We are called to be in the uncomfortable and influence people causing the uncomfortable situations.

We are called to be set apart and sometimes we're the only one.

But that shouldn't stop us.

So, I won't stop.

Just, Jesus, please be my anchor, my comforter, and my compass.

Lead me to where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be and may your love and joy fill my spirit and help me. I need you every day, Lord. Every day. May I not come across as "holier than thou" but come in a spirit of humility and love. May I learn and grow and find out what I, myself, need to change. Just use this broken vessel, Lord. Use me to do your will. Help me to have this on my heart everyday. May I find myself knee deep in prayer.


  1. "Jesus was a perfect and He was hated by many."

    So true. Hate to hear that people are getting on you for doing the right thing. Just know that it's not your fault! Keep living by your convictions with a gentle heart, and people will take note of that. They're probably just uncomfortable that they can't stand as strong in their faith as you are.

  2. Awww...that's really a tough situation to be in...glad to hear that you are still doing what you know is right, even though your actions are causing others to give you a reputation that doesn't reflect your true character. :(
    I've had a time like that though...where Jesus really was my only friend, the only one to talk to, and walk through that season of life with me. Even though I really wanted a human companion, I see now that the trust I have in Him now wouldn't have developed if I had had what *I* thought was best for me. :)
    He truly is the best friend. <3