Thursday, July 7, 2016
"I'm Forced to Deal with What is Real"
from the song Car Radio by Twenty-One Pilots
I guess the more I thought about this line the more I realized how scary that is and how that's one of the hardest things about life is finding out something you may have only considered a possibility before is actually real. You may pretend for a little while that it isn't real but our minds remind us and eventually forces us to deal with what is real. It is inevitable in life. However, I don't always know what to do with my feelings. There is no comfort in tears for me. Sometimes I get angry, but what good does that do? Sometimes I pretend to be happy and I think I sometimes fool myself or maybe I am momentarily happy. But there are days where I spend being happy with my friends but when night hits and it's just me and my thoughts, I am reminded about the 'real' things that I'd rather not face and I have to deal with them. Although, I am not quite certain, what dealing with them entails. All that I know is that I face my feelings but I don't know what to do with them.
Anger, sadness, joy
I feel you.
But what do I do with you?
I try to take them before God and I know He hears me.
I know He doesn't want me to suffer, but some things in life we have to suffer through.
I know that and I know there will be a time with no more tears.
I hold on to that promise.
That's my little piece of joy.
But sometimes I still feel the sadness and I still feel the anger.
That's one of the hardest parts of life.
Because it's real and I don't want it to be.