And we keep moving on

And on.

I'm not a wallflower/I'm a wildflower

I want to keep telling of your works.
And tonight tasted bittersweet, like frosted tears.
And I'm confused about things and I don't understand boys or why they do what they do.
But I really like the song Clair De Lune and the sun shined today and the rain shined too.
I don't want to leave but at the same time I do,
Oh Lord, all I can do, is look to you.

Thank You Lord

Tonight was a night of fellowship and worship with my fellow believers.

It was a beautiful thing.

It reminded me of two things.

1. I am blessed to have fellow believers that encourage me and lift me up. I know some Christians are lone sharks in this world and don't always have a group there to encourage and guide them through dark and scary waters.

2. I am blessed to be able to publicly worship and praise my Savior in this country. There is a lot of things I don't agree with and is wrong with America, but I am so thankful that we have the freedom to praise our God.

We wanted to go and witness and evangelize today but the rains and storms came down heavy and hard. We reached the beach right when it started pouring and we came back to my house. It was sad at first but obviously, God had a different plan for us or the rains would have cleared. And I don't know what the reason was, but I do know I got two lessons out of this night anyways and God is good and we were still able to worship Him and grow together as believers united in the body of Christ.

Your will be done Lord

I've been reading this book called "Set Apart" by R.Kent Hughes. Which, by the way, I highly recommend. But the reason I'm pointing this out is because when I was reading it, there was something that was pointed out to me that just me stand back and look at things in a new perspective. I can tell you that I have been struggling with selfish thoughts lately. I've been wanting certain things to happen or to come true and I pray for them and then I say; "Your will be done Lord". I say it because inwardly I am thinking that I want His will to be done. That is, until His will is done and it doesn't match up with what I asked for. When that happens, I am still saddened and I still ask Him again thinking maybe there's still a chance or maybe His will can change. What a fickle human heart I have. What got me thinking about this is because in "Set Apart", the author points out how Jesus even prayed before He died on the cross that if there was another way out that He may take the other way but if not, not his will but God's will be done. And God listened to His son cry out in agony and pain, and although it saddened Him, there was not another way out so He sent His son to die on the cross because that was His will. And Jesus obeyed, because He valued God's will above all else. That just puts things in immense perspective to me. A lot of times when I pray for these selfish things, its about getting a job I wanted or going to a college I envisioned myself to be attending or having a certain guy I liked be interested in me. They are such minuscule things that really need not happen and I still ask for it and am upset when I learn that it is not God's will for me. Even though I know God's will is best. It was majorly convicting and I want whatever happens and comes my way for me to be able to say; "Your will be done, Lord" and then mean it and want it. Because God's will is so much better than anything I could have cooked up for me. And Jesus accepting God's will to die on the cross for our sins, is so infinitely huger than accepting the things God shows me is His will and I'm not particularly fond of. It's really ridiculous when put in that perspective and humbling. And it redirects my focus to Christ and God and how much He really loved us. Jesus didn't want to suffer and God didn't want to see His son suffer and yet He did it because He wanted to set us free from our sins because He loved us so much. He doesn't want us to suffer either in this life, but if it's His will, you know it's for the better and you know He loves us still. Just like God loved Jesus still even though He had to send Him to His death. If He sends us to our death and that is the cost of following Him, it is still worth it and it is still for the better.

Lord, your will be done.

May I follow it and not resent it.

May I love your will.

May I follow you to the ends of the earth, knowing You are my everything and You are worth it all.

Everything Must Change- Olafur Arnalds

"As dawn goes down to day,

nothing gold can stay."

--Robert Frost

Olafur says it all in one classical music piece entitled "Everything Must Change".

I think at our points in life; my friend, her sister, and I, are realizing this.

There are so many different stages in life.

Nothing can stay the same.

Everything must change.

It doesn't mean it's bad, it's most likely necessary, and only time will tell if it's good or not.

But it still must change, and we'll probably change with it.

I'll go where the Lord takes me.

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven"

--Ecclesiastes 3:1

A Quiet Soul

Has been pressing on my heart hard as of lately. To have a quiet soul means being at rest in the midst of whatever situation is present. It is being okay with not having to chime in and speak something that you want people to find humorous or get attention from. A quiet soul is being okay with not being the center of attention. Not being the one people automatically see and hear. It's being the person in the background doing things for the Lord that not everyone will notice because you aren't screaming  "Look at me, look at me" while you're doing it. A quiet soul is full of patience. It knows that things happen in God's timing and that you don't need to try to make anything happen before it's timing especially because even if it's what you want, it may not be what God wants for you. A quiet soul is able to listen better because it's not talking and adding to the noise that seeks our attention every day. A quiet soul is a content soul. A quiet soul seeks God and seeks God first and rests in what He offers.

I struggle with a quiet soul a lot.

I want to have my voice heard.

I want approval.

And I worry about being notice more than I do about taking a step back and trying to listen to what God wants me to do.

I want a quiet soul.

I want to find peace and rest.

And I want to watch my tongue and guard my thoughts.

Father, my Lord, I pray for a quiet soul.

I pray that you can show me and help me practice what a quiet soul is and apply it in my every day life.

I pray that I may seek you first and above all else and that my only concern will be glorifying you and following your commands.

With a quiet soul comes humility and stopping trying to elevate myself and being liked and approved,

so I pray for this as well.

My true friends and my future husband (if it's your will for me to have a husband) will love me and find me even if I am not putting myself out there and trying to elevate myself or shout out in this loud world.

They will be see me anyways and love me anyways.

Please help remind me of this day to day and let me just trust in you.

I love you Lord.

Rocks of Choice

His hands hold the rocks of choice and are left open for anyone to see and take,

but the problem is that not everyone takes a rock of choice.

Some would rather not choose at all, and they ignore the fact that the rocks are there.

They see the rocks of choice but in not choosing, they choose to look away.

They don't realize that not choosing a rock of choice is still a choice.

You can take a rock of choice and consciously choose darkness or consciously choose light.

But when you choose not to choose, you're still choosing darkness.

You are just blind to the fact that you're living in darkness.

Thankfully, I  know someone who can touch the eyes of the blind and make them see again.

But if you can see, I hope you choose clearly.

I hope you choose the light that will guide you and give you an eternity of light and life.

I hope you don't choose a life and eternity of darkness and suffering and death.

 "So Jesus said to them, “The light is among you for a little while longer. Walk while you have the light, lest darkness overtake you. The one who walks in the darkness does not know where he is going."

--John 12:35