A Quote That Means Something

"The bird that would soar above the level plain of tradition and prejudice must have strong wings. It is a sad spectacle to see the weaklings bruised, exhausted, fluttering back to earth."

-- Mademoiselle Reisz from The Awakening by Kate Chopin

Just something to ponder...

Psalm 66: 12
"we went through fire and through water;
yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance."

Sometimes God will put us through fire and through water,

yet He will bring us to a place of abundance.

We like to ignore the fire and water part because we are afraid of getting burnt and we are afraid of drowning.

But God is the same God who put radshack, meshack, and abendigo through the fire and He brought them through it without burning them, and though sometimes it may seem like we'll never get through whatever it is that we have to go through, we will and we will make it okay. He will bring us through the fire and we won't be burned.

Our God is the same God who took the Israelites through water. 

But He parted the seas to let them pass and let the waters fall on the Egyptians.

If we are God's people, He will bring us through the water and we won't drown.

That doesn't mean we won't go through things that will wear on us or hurt us.

Physically, or mentally.

But, just like in the verse, He will bring us out to a place of abundance.

So let's trust and praise the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

:

What do you see when you look out the window?
The future.
The past.
People slowly walking by.
Cars driving fast.
Rain drizzling down the pane.
Pain taking the shape and form of rain.
The sun shining it's golden rays.
The passing of your childhood days.
Wind rattling the leaves on the trees.
The hard working honey catching bees.
Another day of promise and light.
Another dark hour of troubles and night.
Possibilities floating in the air.
A balloon escaped from a child's hand and care.
What do you see when you look out the window?

Girl's Night

Four girls, one room, four different stories, four different lives.

Last night was good. We had planned on watching a movie but instead it turned into girl talk. I don't have "girl talk" very often, but it was just what I needed. We all had/have things we're going through and things that we can't just simplify or fix by talking about it, but today it just felt better talking about it anyways. Opening up to each other and being there for each other, it just helped. I'm usually not that way. I get angry when problems can't go away just by talking about it. But this one night, even though I am still in confusion and wondering the solution, I am okay with it because I know I have friends here for me until it's figured out and it will be figured out.

Maybe it will go nowhere, but maybe it'll go somewhere

I sent in an editorial of mine to be published.
There was something so freeing, so beautiful about doing so.
Now, maybe I'll get rejected.
I know that's a possibility.
But there's no harm in trying.
I was encouraged by people around me to send it in, and you know, that was something different for me.
I don't usually put myself out there because I doubt myself...
a lot.
I don't feel like what I write is going to be good enough.
And then, I don't know how to go about it either.
But my teacher told me, and with my friends who encouraged me,
I had the confidence to send it in.

Even if it gets rejected, that's okay.
I still sent it in.
And, just because one newspaper didn't like it, it doesn't mean another article won't like it either.

It is really encouraging to hear about famous authors and how many times their writings were rejected before they got published because it just goes to show you that rejection doesn't mean your writing is bad. It means that particular person didn't like it. And you know what? That's going to happen. We all have different foods and flavors we love and hate. We all have different actors/actresses we love and hate. We're all going to have different articles/books we love and hate.

So, I will keep trying.
If this one newspaper I sent it in to doesn't like and want to publish my article, I will send it in elsewhere.
I won't give up/

And even if none of the places publish my article, I think I'm just proud of the fact that I submitted it in the first place because, for whatever reason, it was hard for me to do so.

I'm not sure I would have done it without the encouragement of others.

I'm trying to work on myself too.
Because I usually do wait for others to confirm that I am good at something before I get the confidence to reach for the stars.
Otherwise, I am too fearful to put myself out there.
And who knows why that is... I don't.
But I'm going to work on it.

Anyways, rant over.

I hold a smile on my warm face because home is my happy place.

A weekend of full meals, great friends, ministry work, little kids, some relaxing beach time, coffee, pie, laughter, downton abbey, survivor, church and a long car ride home that wasn't too bad because of good company, pretty views, and country music. 

This weekend was good.

 Can we rewind it please?

Adrenaline

Adrenaline.

Flowing.

Pumping.

Telling,

me

that

 I'm 

alive.

That my heart is beating.

Making me feel like everything is going to be alright,

      and,

            hey.

what do you know,

                 it,

                is.

I think

I think our world would be a much better place if we saw each other's hearts first instead of each other's looks. Or more than that, we valued each other's hearts and souls more than we valued each other's looks.

I am not alone and neither are you

"You have kept count of my tossings;

    put my tears in your bottle.

    Are they not in your book?"

-- Psalm 56:8

Today was a really good day.

I spent it going on an impromptu shopping trip with some really good friends.

It all started with a desire to go get the new smoky butterscotch lattes at Starbucks.

But that turned into an adventure.

From starting off talking like teenage brats,

to wildly singing and dancing to good music in the car with the windows down during the golden hour,

to sipping our beautiful not disappointing drinks,

to smelling all these new bath and body works smells based off of places like Paris, Venice, Hawaii, Tahiti, and etc.,

to checking out stores with discounted prices and President's Day sales,

and to just enjoying each other and their company,

and lastly watching Anne of Green Gables to end the night.

This all equaled a good day.

I was never much of a shopping person (especially since I don't usually have money to buy things anyways) but just chilling out with these wonderful girls and window shopping was a great experience. 

So, why (you might be wondering) did I put that verse with this post?

Well, I did it because sometimes I don't feel quite so surrounded with friends and loved.

Sometimes I feel lonely and forgotten.

And even though I don't feel that right now,

this verse is a verse I need tucked away in my head.

God has kept and knows our tears.

And He cares.

And He loves endlessly.

It's something you might need to know and probably something I really would want to know on my bad days.

We all have them.

Sometimes the night will come and your brain will be dark forests and your friends may seem to be nonexistent and you will feel like every tear you cry doesn't matter and nobody pays attention to.

But God pays attention and He's there.

Oh, if only we took note of that and let His comfort hold us in these times.

But often we forget, and forfeit the comfort He brings us.

Often we just focus on feeling alone.

Today was just a reminder all around I suppose,

that I am not alone.

That my friends are a good thing to have,

and that they love me so.

But even if we ever grow apart and I somehow loose all my friends,

or if I have a messed up perception and think I don't have friends when I do,

God is always there.

I am never alone.

Never.

What I Now Know

My heart is cracked but it's not shattered and therefore, I know it will heal.

Where are the Frank Sinatra's of the world?

Seriously though. I don't need a bae or a boo or a babe. But it would be nice to find a Frank Sinatra. What a romantic guy he was and superbly classy. I'm still fine being single and stuff and spending valentine's day with pizza and coffee. However, if a Frank Sinatra came into my life, I think I would enjoy a Valentine's Day spent with him too. But since there isn't, I will stare into my pizza's nonexistent eyes and whisper;

"I can't help falling in love with you." 

Happy Valentine's Day Ya'all!

I guess I do afterall

I don't have words, but I guess I do because I am still typing words right now...

Galaxies in You and Me

Today I counted the stars a long with my blessings and I felt the sky shake inside my soul and the dust fly off my finger tips and a urge of creativity holding my brain and in the midst all the uncertainty that I have been swimming in lately, I feel peace.

I'm done with this

I don't understand you.
And I don't like head games.

So, I try not to

"You loved me in a way that would hurt me if I was ever to love you back", she said to herself.
So, 
I 
try
not
to.

"I have learned the secret of being content."

I need to learn a lesson from Paul.
I am not very good at being content.
I have learned this recently.
I easily get distracted by life and then upset because of life events.
But how silly is that?
One day, this mortal life I live will be no more.
These tears, this pain, all gone.
And I will have wasted precious moments being upset instead of content with what the Lord has done for me.
And without doing all things through Christ who has strengthened me.
Lately, I have been battling my own mind.
It's been a bit rough.
Self-pity and doubt has been filling my mind.
And I have let stupid guys dictate how I feel about myself.
Dictate whether or not I am worth something.
I feel stupid for doing that.
It's all in my head anyways.
It's whatever I perceive things to be.
And that's what kills me.
It's not the situations I go through that makes me discontented.
It's letting my mind make me discontented.
Paul learned the secret to being content in whatever the circumstance.
And I want to re-learn that lesson, over and over again.
Each day I want to wake up, content with the path I am walking on,
with praise on my lips, God guiding my way, and strength that only comes from the Lord.

What a fickle, weak, human I am when I try to do life by myself.
Thankfully, we don't have to do life by ourselves.
I want to measure my worth and value in what God thinks of me.
And I want to erase the lies filling my head.
I want to act out the secret of being content.
If you struggle with this too,
I urge you to read Philippians 4:11-13.

It won't let you down.

Stop.

I am worth it.
I am beautiful.
I am loved.
I am needed.
I am cared about.
Stop lying Satan.
I'm not buying into it tonight.
No, no I'm not.
And emotions, take a chill pill please.

Your Love

Today was Jane Eyre, Drama Club, and soccer.
It's nice being able to do things you love.
I love literature, I love acting and I love soccer.
I don't always get to do these things,
so when I do,
it's nice.
I was kinda in funk earlier.
I've kinda been in a funk.
Some things in life just make me sad.
And sometimes I can't shake it.
But your love, Oh Lord, wraps me like a blanket and I love being in that blanket...
Sometimes I just forget to let You hold me.
Sometimes I just don't realize you're holding me.
Sometimes, I just am a mess.
The world is out of my control.
But thank goodness for that.
Thank goodness it's in your control.
Even if my eyes cannot see reasons and my brain cannot understand the why's and even if I will never know certain things, I am so thankful it's in Your control and that your love and grace surpasses everything.
I think I'm out of my funk now.
And I just want to praise You now my Lord.
And I'm sorry that I don't praise you and always feel the joy I should have when I am sad.
But; "Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify You." (Psalm 63:3)

Faith that can move mountains

So, today I had someone talk to me about how we can only move mountains through not our own faith or own power, but the power of Jesus Christ. And I agree. That person said it's something to rejoice in. But, what disheartens me is when other people do not choose to have the power of Christ in them to move the mountains. Like what do you do about that? You can't make them move the mountains. God gave us freewill and they can choose to not move those mountains. And it makes me sad. Right now I am sad about that. Especially when it's someone you love. That person said it's fear that can stop us from moving the mountains in our life.But I'm not afraid of letting God move my own mountains. I'm not even afraid of the people I love not moving their mountains because they don't choose to let God do that. I'm just sad about it. Because there's nothing I can do about it. As it is said in the Mumford and Sons song;

"I can't move the mountains for you."

There Are Questions In My Head

Somehow, when you look at me, I feel like I can do anything.
I don't know why you look at me like that;
like you believe in me.
You barely know me.
You tell me to speak up and let the world know my thoughts.
(Okay, so maybe it was just a class room,
But it feels like the world sometimes),
And you make me feel like what I say has value to it.
But again,
you barely know me.
So, how are you so sure?
How are you sure it's of worth?
Why do you believe in me when I can't believe in myself?

Blueberries

blueberry pancakes
purple fingers
sizzzzle bacon sizzzzzle
coffee
hint of caramel
deathly hallows
here lies dobby
my two favorite men:
ben
and
jerry
hercules
don't you mean hunkules?
disney animated shorts
paper airplanes
venn diagrams
current event poll
group project presentation
relief
homework
house of seven gables
book
mystery
daylight flooding my bones
tall person
oh,
so,
tall
acting like a hero
above
us
all