Wednesday, October 9, 2013
There's a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow...
You know something? I don't have a lot to say today except that; I am extremely awkward.
Sometimes I don't even know why I'm so awkward. There are some people that I am completely comfortable around and can say whatever I want to say and not feel self conscious or even just not say anything because I feel totally comfortable not having to say anything and having it not be awkward. But then, there's some people that I just like freeze up with. I way over think what I'm going to say or try to be too careful with my words that I end up mixing them up or getting the words wrong anyways or phrasing them weirdly. It's annoying feeling nervous talking to people. Like, why does that happen? I don't even know. I wish I could control it and just not think or care and be my complete self with everyone, but I really am not sure I'm able. I don't know. Blarghahaha.
I guess though, in a way, this is how we find out who good friends are. Good friends will stick by me and my awkwardness and want to hang out still and eventually we'll get past my awkwardness and I'll be completely comfortable being me.
So, I look forward to that day where I find a guy who revels in my awkwardness and sticks around to see my awkwardness slowly start to fade away before his eyes and for us just to be really really good friends and then best friends and then more than friends. I want us to do normal things in extraordinary ways and love in an unbroken way and to be so closely knit together in a way that can only be managed because our hearts are so deeply rooted in God. And it'll happen.
If I ever find a guy to marry, it'll be that guy.
So, my awkward self, chin up and keep loving and being you regardless.