Eyes

With distracted eyes,
Come easy lies,
Come blurred directions,
In multiple sections,
of life.

We need to focus our eyes,
Actually get up and try,
To live a pleasing life to God,
Find a steady path to trod,
and glorify.

The Creator,
The Savior,
The Redeemer,
Who made life more,
The lamb,
Clothed in blood,
Sacrificed,
Turned rain into a flood,
Of grace,
washing us,
of love,
of trust,
My Lord,
My King,
My Friend,
My Everything,
The one who helps and holds,
Keeps us safe inside the fold,
While we were wandering,
searching,
with distracted eyes,
looking for lust,
looking for gold,
letting our hearts grow cold.
Cause we are looking in all the wrong places,
full of sin,
full of death.
Looking to Satan who wants to take away our life,
take away our breath.

Because our eyes didn't see...

How broken are we?
Oh, how broken are we?

You Oh Lord,
You save,
you heal,
You ache with us,
you feel what we feel,
even when we wander.
Even we we do not see.

You open our eyes,
and you forgive us each time.

Turn them back to You I pray,
 and keep them far away,
 from me.

Bring Out The Holly

Today we set up our indoor Christmas decorations,

we trimmed the tree with ornaments,

ate some chili,

had hot cocoa and pie,

played christmas charades,

watched Rudolph and some old Russian christmas shorts,

and of course listened to christmas music.

And now I am listening to an Acoustic Christmas playlist,

feeling comfy and cozy in my bed with some lit christmas lights on in my room,

and feeling full of the joy and magic of christmas.

Christmas always makes me feel like anything is possible.

I don't know why it does, but it does.

I'm just ready for the impossible.

And I am ready to spread love and joy.

Let the season commence.

Thanksgiving and the such

I am being very bad at keeping up with November. 

But I am okay with that so I hope you are too.

You see, life keeps me busy sometimes.

But I am enjoying that.

I hope your Thanksgiving was swell; mine sure was.

It consisted of yearly Thanksgiving soccer (in which I scored two goals).

A little bit of watching Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Starbucks Gingerbread Lattes with the sis.

Watching some of a Hallmark Christmas movie.

A Thanksgiving Feast full of all my favorites; turkey, cranberry sauce, sweet potato casserole, rolls, mashed potatoes, coffee and pumpkin pie.

Family, and friends.

Laughter and sharing of stories and feeling united together.

Exchanging little pieces of our lives.

Making memories and jokes.

Talking politics.

Ending the night full of food, but most importantly, full of joy and love.

Today was good too.

It was yearly after Thanksgiving day softball.

Spaghetti.

Enchanting lights in downtown st.pete, christmas music, family time, a cute little food market, dandelion soda, and amaretto espresso shakes.

I am just thankful for my life.

For my family.

For the small moments.

The unique experiences.

A break from the mundane and room for adventures.

Traditions (the old and the new).

Life is good guys.

Let's not forget it on our bad days.

Bad days do not equal a bad life.

Dream with Opened Eyes.

Hey There

So, I've missed a few days. 

I've been on vacation.

So, I'm going to kind of just make a big combo post of things I've done and am thankful for this past week.

Mornings.

 Early mornings.

 Mornings where the world is still sleeping and the air seems still.

But deep excitement is within you because you're awake and living and breathing and moving and headed to a destination.

And at 4 am you can look out your plane window and see the moon bright and full and the cities you're passing are just a bunch of tiny dots and you are on top of the sleeping world looking down upon them all and you're so small and so alive and the world is a vast endless sky.

And then the sun begin to rise and illuminate the world and alert them that they must awake and move and begin and join the early risers to see the day in a new light.

Orange, pink and yellow replaces the dark purple, grey and black with the specks of tiny colors stitched into it's clothing.

Cold Air and Fallen Leaves.

Shedding the early part of the year and prepping itself for a new one so near.

Saying goodbye to the constant green and taking on deep red, yellows, and oranges for but a breath,

before the colors are gone completely.

The cobble stone streets of Williamsburg where history is no longer in the past but brought before your eyes.

As you walk and find warm coffee to heat your throats and insides and see the shops all decorated for christmas and you hear the person playing christmas music on the flute as you pass lighted trees and an ice skating rink.

Museums filling your brains with facts you never knew,

and letting your imagination take you to what once was real,

and replicas and historic grounds.

Ships like the ones people sailed to America in.

Breakfast with Martha Washington.

Colonial dances to learn.

James River.

Jamestown and Yorktown.

Family time.

Coming home.

I needed a break and I had a good one.

I am thankful to God.

For getting to go to Virginia.

For spending time with my family.

For realizing how blessed I truly I am.

For coming home and appreciating my dogs.

My church family.

Life.

A Thankful Thought and a Prayer Request

Nov.18th

I am thankful for my family.

I'm thankful to be back with them for a week and a half.

I'm thankful for our differences and the good times and bad.

I am thankful for their love and unending support.

I am thankful for my sisters even if we have funny ways of showing it.

I am having a hard day.

A hard couple of days.

I'm just being straight up honest.

This weekend was so amazing but the start of this week, even though I really had high hopes for it, it has just attacked me.

I don't even know where it came from.

Well, but actually I do.

I was really joyful and I was seeking God and I felt a huge want to glorify Him when coming back to school this week.

I'm sure the Devil hated that.

I know he wants to kill that joy and want.

And I'm pretty sure that's part of why I feel the way I do.

He's used circumstances, past experiences, insecurities, arguments, and worries to just overload and overflow on my mind and heart right now.

And I've been struggling.

I feel really low.

And I know joy comes from the Lord and I need to rely and hope in Him.

He is where my hope comes from.

At His feet is where I need to lay my burdens down.

But it'd be a lie to say I'm not struggling.

I'm battling big time right now.

Please, just pray that my eyes be fixed upon Jesus and that this sadness will blow away like a leaf in the wind.

I didn't want to write tonight.

I didn't want to write anything down that I was thankful for.

Because I didn't feel very thankful.

And then I realized that's why I needed to write down what I was thankful for.

And that I really needed to be thankful for it.

I'm glad to be here with my family.

My crazy, weird, and awesome and loving family.

I wouldn't want any other family.

It's broken and bent, just like everybody else's, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Our lives are strung together in one unit for a reason.

I am thankful.

Catching Up

Nov. 13th

I am thankful for sleepovers.

On Friday, we had friends from out of state come and stay at our house.

Basically, all of my friends from the mission trip we went on, came over and we had a reunion.

We sang songs, ate smores, and prayed together.

It was a beautiful, edifying night.

And then all the girls from out of state had a gigantic sleepover.

It was nice getting to catch up with family.

Nov. 14th

I am thankful for children.

On Saturday, we did ministry work and put on our program for kids.

We stayed and played all day with them.

Singing songs, putting on a skit, teaching bible verses, and just loving on them like Christ would.

This small ministry is steadily growing and it has taken a deep place in my heart too.

After the program, we also worked on a skit we were putting on for the mission trip organization's SOS banquet.

Then we grabbed coffee and all got ready for the banquet.

The banquet was christmas themed and so pretty.

But more than that, it was edifying and great reminder that I needed to hear. 

I need to remember to go out unto the nations and proclaim what God has done.

Not just on here.

Not just say I want to.

But really, just always be spreading the Gospel through words and actions.

Without fear.

Nov.15th

I am thankful for musicals.

Sunday I went to church with my friends and then went to IHop with them.

We had a great time altogether laughing and hanging out and eating cinnamon roll pancakes.

But unfortunately, during lunch, some of the out of state friends had to leave and goodbyes were said.

But thankfully, not too long after lunch,

I got to go see the Newsies with our El Salvadorian friend and my friend from school a long with my family.

It was a really awesome show and it was a really awesome time and I really awesome weekend.

After that, I had to depart and leave for school. 

But starbucks made the trek okay.

Nov. 16th

I am thankful for movie nights.

I got to hang out and sing a long to Frozen with some friends and it was a magical time.

Nov.17th

I am thankful for God's love.

Because for today, some reason, I don't feel very loved.

Well, I guess, I just sometimes don't feel very loved at this school.

And I know some people do,

and some people don't,

but even if everyone didn't,

God's love is enough.

And I am thankful for it.

And I need to focus on that today.

He has blessed me with so much.

Especially, with this whole weekend.

As you can see from what I've written, my days kind of have been busy.

With the exception of yesterday, but yesterday I was catching up on z's.

So, I didn't get a chance to update on here.

But that is my update.

Words cannot describe how wonderful this past weekend was though.

I love my family.

My related and nonrelated family.

God is good, guys.

All the time.

Nov.12th

I'm thankful for the opportunity of learning and being able to go to school.

Sometimes I complain about the college I go to now because it's not as great as the one I used to go to.

However, 

I am just lucky to be able to go to a college at all and to have the opportunities I've had to learn and grow.

Today I got the opportunity to work with a green screen and to "clone" myself in Audio and Video production.

It was actual really neat.

I got to see two of myself shivering in the snow.

I am pretty privileged to be able to learn and work with such programs and equipment.

I am blessed to have someone qualified and knowledgeable who also wants us to learn and succeed.

I am thankful for learning, growing, and school.

I take it for granted sometimes.

But today, I am thankful for it.

(Other side blessings; buy one get one free starbucks coffee, pizza, walmart runs, joy coming from the Lord, open mic night, free hot chocolate and pumpkin muffins, secret santa name picking, a real good time spent with friends).

Nov. 11th

Worship.

I'm thankful for worship.

I'm thankful for bleeding hearts and raised hands and cracking voices of passion.

I am thankful for bodies cramped together with one sole purpose for singing.

To worship our Heavenly Father; our Savior Jesus Christ.

To praise His name only.

People living completely different lives and walking different paths brought together to sing the same songs.

To our King.

The opportunity to be vulnerable and stripped away and raw.

To throw away the worries, doubts, weights of the day.

To forget the hurts and forgive the wrongs.

And to simply come and remember why we're here.

Why there's joy in the midst of suffering.

To worship.

Worship.

I'm thankful for worship.

"Because your steadfast love is better than my life, my lips will glorify You."

-- Psalm 63:3

November 10th

Today I am thankful for Christmas.

I love Christmas.

I love the whole season.

It's so joyful and magical.

I could go on about the things I love about Christmas.

But tonight I will just talk a little bit about it.

I didn't have any plans for the night but my friends and I impromtuly decided to have a homework study party in one of my friend's dorms.

Then it turned into a christmas themed one.

I brought my holiday flavored jelly beans,

brewed cinnamon vanilla nut coffee,

and strung a couple of lights

as my friend played christmas music and lit a tree smelling like candle.

It was lovely.

Then when we finished our homework, we watched a cheesy kind of stupid Christmas movie called;

"Christmas with the Kranks".

It was dumb.

But I had never seen it before and it was Christmas themed.

So, it was perfect for tonight.

It was just a taste of christmas before the christmas season.

I'm excited now. 

I can't wait for Thanksgiving and after Thanksgiving.

I love Christmas.

And I am thankful for what it is, the reason for it, the joy of it, and that it can make a normal day turn from normal to special.

Christmas is wonderful.

November 9thhhhhh

Today I am thankful for sleep.
For the ability to cuddle under covers and rest against a soft pillow and catch up on some sleep.
Life is exhausting sometimes.
Getting a chance to sleep is a gift.
I've known nights where sleep could not find me,
And let me tell you,
It's not fun.
So, I'm thankful for sleep.
I'm thankful for a bed to sleep in to.
I am blessed.

Nov. 7th and 8th

So, I said yesterday that I would post two posts but alas, the second one never happened because I became busy so I will write in this post what I am thankful for today and what I was thankful for yesterday.

Nov.7th

I am thankful for the gift of laughter. 

It's precious and beautiful. 

Joy, radiant joy.

To experience happiness with people is a great gift.

I went to a Tim Hawkins and John Crist concert yesterday.

They're both Christian comedians.

They were very hilarious and it was a great time.

It really made me appreciate just a night of laughter.

Watching a crowd of strangers in a church laughing.

It's great.

And I think about the little times we get to laugh during the day.

When our friends say something funny and we give a chuckle.

Or when we bust a gut and can't breathe so hard we're laughing.

Laughter is a thing I am thankful for.

Nov.8th

Car rides.

Not everybody likes car rides.

But sometimes I really enjoy a good, long car ride with a friend as you talk about things of middle school, mutual friends, abandoned hotels, and a neverending list of just whatever pops into your mind as the rain tip taps on the windows and the green and red traffic lights reflect off the pavement and onto the raindrops left on the window shield. 

Sure car rides can seem long.

But sometimes long is nice.

I've had a vacation car rides, and youth trip car rides, and day trip car rides, 

and

I've made many good memories in those cars.

Yes, I am thankful for car rides.

Nov.6th

Yesterday, I was pretty busy and so I didn't have time to blog. So, you'll have two blog posts for me today...

Last night I went and saw "The Diary of Anne Frank". It was a really well done production. It really portrayed Anne's life well coming from what was written in her diary. It also brought me to what I am thankful for now. I am thankful for freedom. I am thankful for the ability to live my life without someone seeking after my life because of what I am. I am thankful that I can go outside and appreciate the blue sky and green grass. I am thankful that I do not have to hide in an attic and live my life up there for more than a year. I am thankful for life and how good I have it. And I am sorry that I don't appreciate it enough. Sometimes the holocaust doesn't seem real because how could people do that? How could they treat other human beings that way? It doesn't seem like it could be possible. But it was and it did happen. And it's heartbreaking. And I am thankful that I don't have to live like that and sorry that people did have to live and die like that.

November 5th

November fifth. I am thankful for murals. Today, I went with one of my new friends on a journey to explore downtown lake wales and downtown lake wales is full of murals. Murals of downtown lake wales back in the day. Murals of railroads. Murals of just beautiful landscapes. Murals of Jesus carrying the cross. There's so many murals and I love it. I want to know why they were created.  I honestly wish I had an eye and talent for painting. Painting is so neat. There are stories you can paint in them. Uh. I just think they are so cool. But besides that, I also got to walk on a little pier covered in fake flower petals with a gazebo on the pier dock and go to Dunkin Donuts because someone lied and said they were giving out free donuts today and I also had drama club and had some improv. There were/are a lot of things I am thankful for today. But, if I had to choose one, I'm going to pick the murals because that's something that I find unique about downtown lake wales. Now, my fellow readers, I'm going to leave you with a Gilmore Girls quote. Because why? Because Gilmore Girls is the best.

Oh, and because they understand me and share in my addiction.

November 4th

Today, was a busy school filled day. I had a presentation and a test and it wasn't the funnest. But right now I'm listening to Death Cab for Cutie, writing, thinking about Christmas, and drinking coffee. And the evening is free ahead of me and it's nice to have a bit of time to myself. Time to breathe and stretch out and gulp the air and remember books I used to love and songs of my teenage years that I still love.

Today, I am thankful for simple things. Such as what I have mentioned. Some days we take the simple for granted. But it's a breath of fresh air sometimes and it can help clear your body from exhaustion and stress. Simplicity will always be a thing of beauty to me. So, here's a quote from my favorite book which I want to re-read now.

Nov. 3rd

Today I am thankful for friends. But, specifically, my best friend since highschool. Today she sent me a box full of candy and a cute magnet and a little note. It made my day. Her 21st birthday is in two days and in three days I get to see her and spend some time celebrating with her at Jamboree. I am just so thankful for this friend that I didn't even know or could guess would be this good of a friend and this long lasting friendship. She's my partner in crime, my food buddy, horror movie watching, holiday loving, disney fangirling, loving and caring and pretty good friend of mine. We pretty much do anything in life together and our interests are so similar it's crazy. I don't think I've met a person that was that much like me. She's crazy. And I love her. And she's my person. I am so thankful God has put her in my life and I am thankful for her and her friendship.

Novembre Dos:

Today I am thankful for surprises. Like a surprise turn around plan of coffee getting, Christmas tree looking, candy sushi, watching Tim Hawkins videos, knock off brand cheezits and Disney music. Today was a good November second and it's nice to have pleasant surprises.

Thankfulness

So, a lot of people pick a thing each day of November to say what they're thankful for... and I've never done it before. I don't know why. I think partly because it's a trend. But, honestly, out of all trends, that's not a bad one to follow. In fact, we need to be thankful for more often and this will help me be more aware of what I am thankful of and what I should be thankful for. So, even though I've already posted once today, here it goes;

November 1st- Day One:

I am going to start off with the number one thing I am most thankful for. The reason I can even be here writing what I am thankful for; my Lord and Savior. I am thankful for God and that He created me as well as the whole wide earth and made each of us so unique and beautifully designed. I am thankful that I have this chance at living and getting to know Him and meeting the people I have met and living the life I have lived. I am thankful that He so selflessly sent His son to earth and to die for us to save us for our condemning sins. I am thankful that Jesus has washed our sins as white as snow so that I and anyone who chooses to believe in Him may have eternal life with Him. I am thankful for my Jesus, and my God. My life would be nothing without Him. And I'd have nothing to live for without Him. 

Halloween

I don't really celebrate the spooky side of Halloween. But yesterday the tres amigas slept in, made cinnamon rolls and bacon and caramel coffee, chilled in our pajamas listening to a Halloween playlist (good ole thriller, superstitious, etc.), candy corn cookies, caramel apples, and turned wine glasses into art. For instance, I turned the wine glass upside down and made a pumpkin out of the large glass part and for the long bottom part I painted it green and made it the stem and I'm going to put tea lights on the bottom part of it. It's fun and relaxing and just what I needed. And it felt like a holiday. Afterwards, we all went to our friend's house and ate pizza, sipped some egg nog, watched a couple of scary movies, and played Clue. 

It was safe and it was fun.

 Annnnnd noooooow comessss the Christmas seasonnnnn!!!!! 

YAYYYYY I'M EXCITED. 

Gingerbread lattes,

decorated stores, 

christmas music, 

and the such.

And thanksgiving yes. I love both. But I celebrate christmas before thanksgiving because there really aren't thanksgiving songs or thanksgiving flavored starbucks drinks, so I dive in with christmas too. But I also look forward to Thanksgiving believe me. I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving week spent in Virginia for the first time ever. I'm excited to see Fall leaves. I'm excited to come back and bake pies all day. I'm excited for Thanksgiving soccer, and Thanksgiving dinner with family and friends and after Thanksgiving softball. I'm just excited.