I kinda experience anxiety sometimes.
Certain times in my life when I am with a group of people, I just feel uncomfortable and like whatever I say won't be good enough or funny enough.
I know life's not about that and I don't know why I feel like that but I do at times.
Tonight I experienced that. But when I came home, I strung up some lights and lit a pumpkin spice candle and my dog snuggled up next me and I played some Christmas music and you know what? I feel okay again.
I don't know why I feel the pressure or need to fit in when I'm with people but sometimes I feel like that.
I don't know.
I guess maybe it's part of my introverted side. It's not that I don't like people because I do. But sometimes I feel like I am not wanted or like I need to worry or overthink about what I say or I will be judged and it's just nice sometimes to come home and be with yourself for a bit (with my dog though) and know the pressure is off. You can be you and you are okay with you. I can make snarky comments in my head and appreciate my own humor. I am not trying to impress anybody. I'm just enjoying music and my favorite scent and everything is okay by me.
Anyways, I don't know why I shared this but I did.
Anybody else ready for the holidays?
I've been out of the blog world for so long, but visiting here again is so very nice. :) I completely relate to everything you said. Sometimes anxiety gets the better of me too, telling me that there's nothing I can do to live up to other people's expectations of me. Anxiety can tell us some pretty convincing lies. You're right though; there's nothing like being back in the comfort of home to realize who you are and how that's more than just a little bit okay.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I've been listening to Christmas music too. ^_^