Pumpkin Seeds and Foley

So, my week has hit a few rough patches.
However, my Lord has brought joy to my heart and verses to convict me and guide me.
I really do see a lot of brokenness around here and it saddens me.
But I also see a lot of good and there's always hope for people.
Yesterday I was blessed by free coffee (courtesy to National Coffee Day) but also by a free donut from a very sweet person from my school and then just in fellowship and friendship itself.

Today, through tests and school, I find joy in pumpkin seeds that my Mommy sent to me,
Gilmore Girls,
annnnnnnd
believe it or not,
Foley.

I don't know how aware you guys are of what Foley is, but it's actually pretty cool.

Foley is when people use a various number of objects to make sounds for animated or real movies.
For instance, in Toy Story 2 when Bullseye is licking the cheeto dust off of Al's hand, the sound was actually made by recording the sound of a cow licking peanut butter off of a man's face.

Gross, yes.
But also, very cool.

We were assigned a project to add sounds to a silent film and I tell you I was very nervous at first.
Fancy software is not my thing.
Not my thing at all.

However, I ended up getting the hang of it and I will say it was actually kind of enjoyable.

To top it all off there is free chickfila tonight and Bible study/worship. I'm excited.

So yeah, also, there was a nice breeze.
And October is near.
And my Lord is amazing.
He really is.

My Heart Hurts For You Everyday

It seemed like such a blindside when it all went down.
I still cannot begin to understand it.
And sometimes, even though I pray for you daily,
I just try to forget about it all.
But I can't.
I love you.
I trust in the Lord and His grace.
But it hurts.
And I don't understand.
Oh how it hurts.
But that's love sometimes.

I know this is vague and anyone reading this will not understand,
But that's okay.

Labels

I hate labels. I really really really hate labels. It's going to happen and sometimes people don't even mean any harm by labeling you, but I hate labels. It doesn't have to be a bad label for me to hate it, I just hate it. 

Like people don't fit into these tiny boxes so don't label the package. 

There is more to them than what you label them and people don't always fall into one category.

\

I'm being a bit harsh because I don't mean to be mean about people who unconsciously do it.

I guess for me I just hate being labeled because once people label you, they think they know all there is to know about you.

And honestly, inside of me, I feel so pressured. Like it makes me want to do something to get that label off of me. I won't because labeled or not, I am still going to stick to my convictions and my morals.

In highschool I was the goodie two shoes, the one who was so pure and clean and wholesome and there is nothing wrong with that. Nothing. I am happy to be a person God wants me to be. But when they label me with that and make it sound like that's a bad thing... ugh I hate it. And here I am labeled as that too and even amongst my friends.

I'm not trying to act like or snob or anything. I'm just trying to decipher what's right in God's eyes and I wish people would stop throwing around labels and acting as if trying to follow what's right in God's eyes is a bad thing because it's not. I want to honor and glorify Him and I hate it when people act like I am in the wrong for doing that. Especially other Christians. They think I'm crazy for having high standards sometimes. I'm not going to judge you, but I am going to live up to my moral standards and I need people to stop making me feel bad about my moral standards.

Sometimes I really hate society and I really don't like being surrounded by people you can't take a break from.

Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and I am trying to have a love and compassion for everyone.

But I'm having an off day where I just want to be home and away from the labels.

Labels, labels, labels.

Five Musical Saturday

Today was brunch, maple brown sugar coffee, caramel apple cookies, pizza, pumpkin bread and five musicals.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is possible to watch five musicals consecutively and eat that much crap in one day.

I feel like a Gilmore girl and I have no shame.

Today was a Saturday and Saturdays are grand.

Fall Friday Funday

Croissants, Donut Holes, Two Cups of Coffee, Raffles, Tabletop Pumpkins and Leaves,
Cancelled Classes, Short Naps, Packages in the mail from my Mommy that also contains my favorite Fall-time coffee (Maple Brown Sugar), Starbucks, and a free movie.

Broken Bits of Metal

This world tastes so much like rust sometimes.

And the oceans are filled by tears instead of by gentle falls of rain.

And the hearts seem more broken than whole.

Like sometimes I walk and I see holes in people chests, little bullets in their hearts.

Little bandaids that cannot mend the cracks,

And stitches that are infected because people left them in too long.

I just want to hold up the people that are melting like snowmen in summertime.

I want to paint smiles over frowns.

But holding up and painting on things are not fixing things.

Trying to hold up a melting snowman isn't going to keep the snowman from melting unless the sun's warmth is taken out of the picture.

Trying to paint a smile on the frown, doesn't remove the frown; it only covers it up.

              We humans are not fixers. 

                                               We try to be.

                                                                     But we aren't.

We ruined things that were already perfect.

One bite from an apple and everything was destroyed.

We're destroyers.

But gosh, oh gosh, if it had ended there.

If that was all there was to life.

Realizing we ruin everything we touch and not being able to do anything about it...

Thank goodness that's not how the story goes.

Grace covers us over and over and over again.

It's the song in my heart, it's the fixer.

It mends.

It heals.

It fixes.

The grace of God and His love and mercy.

That's why even though it may be weary walking around seeing broken people breaking things day by day, I can see God's grace fixing and healing day by day too.

And I know that even though the world tastes like rust,

The world will one day return to dust.

We won't be perpetually broken destroyers. 

We'll live in a sinless, painless, kingdom free from our chains and free from ourselves.

And free to be with our Father forever and ever.

Amen.

---

I'm taking these broken bits of metal and throwing them in the sky.

"For all the history of grief, an empty hallway and a maple leaf"

It's officially Fall. So what's better than finding a book in the library and reading a book of poetry? I understand now why a lot of poets like to write about nature. Nature is something beautiful and calming. In a rushing world full of people and cars and media, one can easily forget the beauty of getting lost in nature. There's simplicity in enjoying little breezes and stepping away from the loud world. I hope you were a poet for a day and enjoyed this Fall day and experienced it and then write about it, because why not? I just hope you didn't spend the first day of Fall inside. Please don't.

I spent the rest of my Fall evening wearing plaid, decorating Starbucks Fall cups for a contest, and sipping an infamous PSL with my lovely chicas and we were a bit hyped on Fall and coffee. It was perfect. And we rolled down the street with the windows open, tasting the wind, and feeling free spirited to a Bible study where we made friends and experienced joy and worshiped the Lord. It was a good day.

I can already tell as my spirits are lifting higher and higher,

it will be a good Fall.

"and all at once, summer collapsed into Fall"

-- Oscar Wilde

Am I swimming or sinking?

I'm not even sure right now. 

I guess I'm being dramatic though.

I'm just frustrated.

I'm trying to get a long and swim here and sometimes it seems like things are getting better.

But other times, I just don't get how I turn into a bad guy.

Because I won't let a girl copy my homework, I am the bad guy.

Because I don't take kindly to in your face guys who think they can nickname you after meeting them one time and hang on to you like a leech, I get word spread about me around that I'm a snob.

No, I know making right decisions will make me unlikable.

Jesus was a perfect and He was hated by many.

It's something that's going to happen in life.

I just don't like it though.

I'm trying to adjust, I'm trying to find my place here, this is where I was called to be.

But it is hard sometimes.

I'd rather be where my friends and family are who love me and encourage me,

but I know sometimes we aren't called to be encouraged.

We are called to be in the uncomfortable and influence people causing the uncomfortable situations.

We are called to be set apart and sometimes we're the only one.

But that shouldn't stop us.

So, I won't stop.

Just, Jesus, please be my anchor, my comforter, and my compass.

Lead me to where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be and may your love and joy fill my spirit and help me. I need you every day, Lord. Every day. May I not come across as "holier than thou" but come in a spirit of humility and love. May I learn and grow and find out what I, myself, need to change. Just use this broken vessel, Lord. Use me to do your will. Help me to have this on my heart everyday. May I find myself knee deep in prayer.

Lesson of the Day

Today I needed eleven cups of coffee.

But I settled for two and a nap.

Never settle, folks, never settle.

"But when the stars are the only things we share will you be there?"

Traffic jams, Fall in cups, free vanilla steamed milk, watching the sunset like a gentle wish and hope on a kid's tongue, evening cup of tea, acoustic feels, rootbeer floats, dunedin light up at night, a very italian piece of pizza, walks, lavender vanilla lattes, resting, a heart that is prepared for the upcoming week.

But Lord, please let my heart be prepared for whatever you ask of it.

Because my heart belongs to You.

You Alone.

Let me let go of what you tell me to let go of and hold onto your promises and hope instead.

When my hands are lifted up my head is no longer down.

There's magic in the air of a library...

Don't believe me? Smell the books. Touch the keyboards. Drown yourself in silence or hug the whispers. Libraries are magical.

In breaths we come and in breaths we go.

Let the day come when the sun greets it

{take it one coffee sip at a time}

Pride comes before the Fall

But Fall is here now and soon after will be winter. I hope I can wear humility like a snug blanket. I need it close to me.

Life Stories

So, for my public relations class we have to write a press release about someone and what that person is doing. I got to interview my Resident Director, and let me just tell you, I had a grand old time. I really think I like press releases and I would like journalism. It's actually really fascinating getting to take the time and get to know someone's life story. I mean if you're not interested about someone's life, how could you ever show them God's love really? God loves every single sinful human being on earth, and we should too. We should be interested in the lives of others and get to know them and their life stories. How can we share the biggest gift in life if we don't get to know the life the person is already living? Just things I'm thinking about. I'm starting to get interested and liking the things I am doing here for my communication minor. It's pushing me to be a better writer and do things I haven't done before and I am liking it. 

Thank-you Lord for another unforeseen blessing.

Crisp

I made pumpkin cookies yesterday and there were breezes in the air today.

So,

I'm

going

to

entitle

this

crisp

because

crisp

is

the

coziest

autumnest

word

I

know

and

in

my

mind

I

declare

that

it

is

finally

Fall

.

Father please,

Melt our hearts until they bleed and ache for you.

If we're not complacent, we're indifferent, and if we're not indifferent, we're blinded.
Please light our wax hearts until we feel burning desiring and passion and love for you.
Until people cannot ignore You and the way you so desperately want to save us all from ourselves.
People look away and bitterly laugh as they smoke the cigarettes of spite and living a dead life until they die and enter a life full of a death they could never imagine and can't possibly want to go to.

My heart is broken for the bitter, stubborn, people who had a plate of gold and a lifetime of peace and joy but threw it on the ground and instead, picked up the dirt and ate it.

My heart is starting to bleed and it's waking me up. It's waking me up because day to day I ignore the fact that there are people there who are blind. And people who are blind because they choose to be.

And in a way I am blind too.

Because I fell back into the art of simply living but without having life behind it.

I am not on my knees every single day praising my Creator and praying for these souls.
I am not out there waking up each morning praying for God to show me His will and for me to follow it.
And when the thought passes my mind, I half-heartedly pray.
It doesn't say; Love the Lord with half of your heart.
It doesn't.

But how often do we do that?

How often do we actually even reach half of our heart?

No.

Sometimes it's a quarter, a sliver, a speck.

It's an "Thank-you Jesus for our food" and that's it on some days.

Jesus, you are my life.
You are everything.

Melt my heart and make it bleed please because sometimes that's the only way to wake me up.

I don't want to be blind and I don't want to eat dirt.

I need you Lord, every day.
Please don't let me forget it.

Oh Emotions, be quiet please.

Wow today. Let's mention it. It was a rainy drizzling day of emotions and feels and damp Warner garb and messy blue eyeliner with a side of nostalgia, sore throats and fun. I can't keep up with the days that are passing me. Today I went to a Warner football game that was playing our rivals Southeastern in which a load of Clearwater Christian students were at. Before the game even started it was pouring though and so the Clearwater southeastern people decided to go back to SEU and captured me to hang out for a bit. It was nice, it was. But it was so weird. We all were at the same school and now we both go to different ones. I don't know why but it all just hit me. Memories and nostalgia and sadness mixed with the pleasantness of it all. The game however started up when the rain passed and a Warner Clearwater friend picked me up and we went back to the game and had a fun time cheering and watching our team lose. I just feel full to my stomach. Like it was Thanksgiving and I enjoyed the meal but now I feel full of food and it's making me a little overwhelmed and sick.

Your Love Is A Symphony

These days I've been understanding more and more why I am where I am. I need to be here because there are other girls here that need me and I need them. We're all from different places with different stories and we're all out here with different problems and baggage and we need each other. I see why God has brought us together. And He is healing us too with blessed nights of laughter, brownie making, and movie watching. And mornings smelling of bacon, fluffy pancakes, fried bacon and eggs and fresh coffee. There are ups and downs but I'm learning to be thankful for them both. It's what's making me be me and learn and grow.

Look At The Stars; Look How They Shine For You

Dear Mr. Mysterious,

  I'm looked at the stars tonight and thought of you. I hope you're doing okay and I hope you're out there waiting for me too. Because in this homely world, I can't help but think about you. If you exist first of all. And second of all, if you have to wait like I am having to wait and if you ever felt a bit hopeless looking at the pool of fishes around you and seeing people throw themselves at each other everywhere you look instead of keeping high standards. Even though it's not fun waiting and seeing this, I hope you are sad looking at this and are waiting and thinking about me. Not saying I am a girl of extremely high standards, I sin and mess up just like everyone else. I am sure you do too. But I do hope you're not the kind to just enter a relationship for fun or because it seemed like a good idea at the time and I hope you don't just date chicks even if their heart is not set upon the Lord. If you are that type of guy right now, I know you'll shape up before we are together because I am holding out for someone special. Someone who's heart is on fire for the Lord and not flinging himself at any girl and dating for fun. I'm waiting for a man of prayer and love and obedience. Like I said, you're allowed to mess up sometimes. It happens. But still. The truth is the truth and there is a difference between someone's lifestyle and someone who makes bad decisions or messes up on occasion. I guess this turned into something longer than I had imagined it too. I just want to let you know husband that I think about you a lot. And I am happy each moment I am not with a guy who would lower my standards. It's discouraging sometimes and I am unpatient sometimes, but I am happy to wait for you. I know it'll be worth it my love. You are worth it my love... if you are out there.

Love,

Your Sweetheart

Can it be Christmas?

What does one do when she needs to rest for an evening and has free time to do so?

Watch Christmas episodes of tv shows.

I guess I'm starting to get a little excited. September is pre-season to promote October and pumpkins and November is pre-season to promote Christmas plus it has Thanksgiving which arguably is actually my favorite holiday. But let's face it, this time is my favorite half of the year. I love all of the holidays. I love pumpkins, and pumpkin flavored things and hay and corn mazes and apple cider and leaves, and I love turkeys and all thanksgiving food and thanksgiving soccer and softball, and thanksgiving baking, and christmas cookies, and christmas movies, and christmas trees, and everythiiiiiiiing. I just love it all. And this year, I might be going to New Hampshire the week before Christmas and Williamsburg VA for Thanksgiving week.

I'll be able to experience a real Fall and a real Winter as opposed to a Florida one.

I'm excited. 

And Christmas episodes make me feel cozy.

So, I'm okay with taking the evening off and going to bed early.

The skies felt like rust

But really it was my bones. They felt like rust and my eyelids were weights and my head was a fish tank and my mouth held too many yawns. I don't know what's up but I feel way too tired. A two hour nap didn't even fix my weary rusted bones or clear my fishbowl head.

Can I at least be a petal?

Sometimes I feel like a thorn amongst roses.

Everything Changes - Judah and the Lion

I don't know, but this song kinda sums up my mood right now.

I'll let you in on a secret.

This year has been a doozy.

It just came in on a breeze and while I wore a snoopy sweater and a smile, 

but I had no idea what would come my way.

We never know really.

There has been a lot that has happened and a lot of surprise tears and built up anger really, but I don't think I've grieved what has happened in this year and I'm still not sure how to really. I don't know if that makes sense.

Basically, I've been a leaf blower. Whenever my mind comes across the path of any memory stained leaves, I blow them away. I blow it off my path. It's never gone. I'm not a vacuum. I simply blow them away to another path because I don't want to dwell on those memory leaves and I don't want them in front of me. I want to put them out of sight. So, I blow them away and walk on. But every now and then I come across the path where  had blown those leaves across and I fulfill my role each time. Simply blowing them away again and not worrying about them until I see them again.

I've had fun times in the midst of the bad. I carry on. I smile. I laugh until my stomach hurts. I keep on, because we have to. But I still don't know how to grieve.

So, I'm going to take the time to think about it. Because I need to. I can't just skip over the bad chapters in a book. Because they're still important to life.

My old lady neighbor passed away this year. I knew she was getting ill and old and maybe that's why I never fully grieved about this, but when I recall memories of time spent with her, it reminds me of how big of a deal it is. She was like a grandmother to me. She gave me a knitted, old and ugly peach colored sweater once and I wore it in middle school and got made fun of by my crush. I would walk over and visit her after I ate ice cream with my highschool friend. My family would bring her supper and make her gifts for christmas, easter, and other holidays. Her house was hot and sticky, and sometimes visits with her seemed impossibly long but looking back I enjoyed it. I used to take my dog over to see her and she would always comment on how my dog was a Queen and how good 'she' was even though my dog is a male. I have a lot of memories intertwined with her, and for some reason, though I knew it wasn't possible, it seemed like she would live forever. She would constantly tell me how she was getting old and she would state that at each birthday and I would tell her she still had a lot of life in her and I thought she would make it to 100 at least. She never did. She died this year and when I received the news, my heart ached but then I didn't think of it. I didn't want to. Every time I passed her house though and saw people refurbishing it and saw the for sale sign being put up, those memory leaves would come floating down and I would become a leaf blower.

Someone very important to me who I saw very often and was close to me, had to leave. The fact of it was overwhelming to me and the circumstance was overwhelming for me. It made me sad but I knew the person had to leave and I knew it was right for that person. So, I accepted the fact and I didn't grieve really. I cried with people who were affected by it. But I didn't cry for me even though I was affected by it. And when the person went away, I acted like it was normal. And I became used to the pattern very quickly. More quickly than I expected to be. I went with it and it's sad to me how that happened and thinking about it makes me feel like I'm heartless and cold. It hurts whenever I think about that person and whenever the person's name is mentioned or a song reminds me of that person, but I don't want to hurt so I blow the leaves away. I don't want to break down because what's the use in that? I don't know what to do about it besides praying. And I don't think I can do anything else. So I pretend life without that person has always been that way and I make it seem normal. 

My college shut down. I complain about it a lot. Something I don't think I should do. Again, I can't change that. But how it all was handled wasn't well. And I had no way to prepare myself for it. I cried a lot because of the stress of finding a new college but I didn't grieve the loss of an excellent God-fearing place where the professors truly cared about you and serving the Lord. Where friendships were encouraging and God-based. Where worship and Bible studies were actively held. Where memories were made and treasured. I tried not to think about that all. I focused my energy on finding a new college. In being excited at first, to becoming discouraged by limited options, to being excited again when I found one, and sad again when it couldn't even kind of come close to the great rare treasure I had by just being able to go to that college. It was a huge loss I didn't even kind of want to take in. And as people voiced their sympathies, I just kindly thanked them and stated that I knew God had a plan in all of this. I still believe and know that to be true. But I think I somehow lost the fact that it was still okay to be sad about it. Either that or I just didn't want to be sad about it. I don't know. My emotions confuse me and I think that's why I'd rather just put them in a bottle with a lid rather than deal with them. That's why I like to blow away those leaves and walk on clearer paths that aren't stained with memories. Paths where I can create new and possibly better ones. And if the new memories turn out bad, I can always blow them away too. I just keep walking a long.

But one day, there will be too many memory leaves to count. And I will need to vacuum them or embrace them. One can't not live like this. I know I must grieve. I just don't know how.

But I give my life to you Lord and I ask for Your help.

I feel like taking the time to acknowledge this has helped though. 

Writing is therapeutic to me.

It's my outlet.

I don't know if this is what grieving feels like.

But addressing the issue and writing about what has actually affected my life,

it has helped.

I don't know what else is to come my way.

But everything changes.

So we'll see what other changes await me for this year.

"Ain't it funny

how everything changes? 

Ain't it funny

how everything goes?

But You don't change, You don't change for anything.

You won't be moved."

The Lord hears; but He doesn't have to justify His actions.

I don't always know what to say, but that's when I get on my knees and pray.

Imperfections and Blemishes

In my audio and video production class, my classmates and I got to work with a legit video camera that connected to a huge screen so that everyone could see what the classmate with the video was filming. As we were testing it out, everyone focused and filmed and messed around with the zoom on each student. I found myself very surprised and shocked at how bad a high resolution top notch video camera made me look. No there was nothing wrong with the camera. It was just that the camera was so good and it focused in on every detail. I was sleep deprived and sweaty and not looking supreme. The high quality camera pointed out all my blemishes and zits upon my face, every frizz on my hair was highlighted and the deep rings of purple around my eyes stood out like a sore thumb. Whenever I popped up on the screen, I felt so embarrassed. And you know what? This was just on the outside. People have often mentioned or wondered what it would be like if your sin was on display for the world to see but I never had really imagined or got it before. This was just a small thing. But think about if every sin and spot and blemish and imperfection was on a high resolution huge screen displayed for not only those four other classmates to see, but the whole world to see? I guess it just made me super thankful that God has paid the price of our sin and our blemishes and imperfections are all washed away by the blood of Jesus. His forgiveness makes our blemishes become blank slates. I am ever thankful for that. For my sin is more shameful and embarrassing than any outside beauty imperfection I have and my God wipes it all away. We are lathered in mercy and buried in love. Let us not forget the beauty of that.

"Maybe you were the ocean and I was just a stone" --Unknown

But you can't hide your smile behind the camera lenses.

Whisper to me peace

Breathe into my soul peace, Oh Lord.
Tonight as I stood in a hipster brick walled, candle surrounded, and scintillating light strung up room,
I was told to own where I am.
I was told that I was here and there's nothing to change that if that's where God wants me to be, so live in that.
Own it.
And as we worshipped God in the downtown of a small country area, I felt truth resonating in me.
Who would have thought that I'd be here senior year?
I didn't. And I didn't want to be.
But God does and I am here.
So, I'm owning it.
I'm seeing the opportunities for me here, and I'm going to take them.
I'm going to live for the now because that's how it should be.
I'm not back at Clearwater Christian and I'm not graduated and figuring out my career yet.
I'm in the now so that's where and what I should be focusing on.

My sister gave me a card with a quote for me to read on my first day here.
I had heard the quote and I like the quote.
It says;

"Wherever you are, be all there."
-- Jim Eliot

I like the quote and I agreed with the quote and thought I was "being all there".
I mean I was totally up for the adventure.
Until the adventure seemed rocky.
Then I was thinking, the quote just meant to be all there if the atmosphere was good and Christ centered.
Yes be all there, unless where you are isn't what you thought it should be.
Where you want to be.

No, I understand now.
It doesn't mean being here physically and holding on until I graduate.
It means owning where I am and trying to use my time here for the best that I can and to serve God how I am supposed to serve Him here. Because He did place me here and this is where I am supposed to be.

Of course I shouldn't follow the secular ways of the school here.
But I do need to be here mentally and spiritually here.
I need to embrace my time here and do what I am called to do here.
I shouldn't just be waiting for the future and mourning the past.
I need to own the time I have here.

But really people, what are we thinking and why?

Today's post is going to be a rant post. It might offend some of you. But, please believe me on this, I'm NOT trying to offend you. I'm voicing my opinion. At the college I go to, the guys treat and look at women so so disrespectively. This is my second week here and I don't want to mention how many times I've been looked up and down and sized up. I don't want to tell you about the creeps who will be staring at me and give me a howyadoin smile when I look up from eating my lunch and make accidental eye contact with them. Or those guys who think they can stroll right up to you and make you theirs. My friend was winked at by this random dude in the cafeteria thinking he was a total hot shot people should adore. It makes me mad. Really? And this is all in a "Christian" college. The world out there is so much worse. But here's the other side of it that I hope I don't get flack for. A lot of women here, on the other token, don't seem to have self-respect. They give the hungry wide eyed men something to look at. Women, please understand how important it is to dress modestly. No I'm not condoning or excusing the male's behavior. But I am saying, don't give them something to look at. That's definitely not going to help change their behavior. Why are you barely covering up what God has deemed as sacred? Are you dressing for yourself because you think it's more comfortable to dress like that? I highly doubt that. Even if you have a "kickin'" body, you don't need to show it off. I can't say this enough, but outward beauty is not where true beauty lies. And if you're dressing a certain way to get attention from a certain guy, he's not looking at what truly matters or at what counts. I don't want to be measured by shallow outside beauty. That's not what I want to be loved or known for. And if I don't want guys to size me up or give me comments, I'm definitely not going to give them what they want to see. I won't need to cover their eyes if I cover myself. Granted, guys are going to do what they're going to do. They're going to whistle, size up and wink and maybe I have no control in that. But I do have control in what they see and you do too. You are so much more than the size 2 you wish you were or the toned body or the perfect white teeth and straight hair. You are so much more ladies. And men, you are so much than superficial, shallow beings. Man up and be a gentlemen. Respect women and women respect yourselves. We both are God's creation and we serve and answer to Him first. What would you want God to see? Because I'll let you in on something, He does see what we wear and what we do. Would He be ashamed of what you wear or how you a treat a woman? Something to think about and something on my mind. The weight of society sits on us all, but looking to God can leave us weightless and free. I know this is not the case for all ladies and all gentlemen, but I do know it's a problem and I wanted to address it. I fall into the pleasing people and wanting to feel beautiful category at times too, so I'm not saying I'm guiltless. I'm just saying I know we can do better than how we're doing and I want to please and respect God above all else and we can't do that if we're dressing to impress and letting our minds dwell on something other than seeking God.