Sometimes I would rather an empty calloused cavity than have a heart. Because I'd rather have that then to feel pain and sadness. But sometimes it's neccessary to have a heart and it's neccessary for it to bleed too. Just as long as you remember to let it heal as well. And you know where you can get unlimited healing and comfort from. I'm not super sad, but I'm kind of down right now. I'm thinking of the death of a my friend's girlfriend. She passed away almost a year ago now. She was in a coma for 7 days before she died. She's been on my mind this week, but I've been trying to mimic the empty cavity thing. Because it's easier to try to not think about it, not because I'm cold hearted or anything. I tried not to think of her and I tried to avoid things that reminded me of her. I tried not to think of the sad pain that fills the family's hearts as they miss her. But I guess I realized that sometimes it's necessary to acknowledge it and to feel. And to be sad. As long as you be okay again too. So, tonight. I'm sad. I'm sad the world lost Hannah. I'm sad for the family, and her boyfriend, and her bestfriends, and her friends and all the lives touched by her. But I'm also happy that she's in a place with no more pain, no more grief, no more tears. I'll touch more on her story in another post. But for right now, I think that's all I want to say about this.
Last night was Shamrock Shakes, Oreo Donuts, Swingsets, Obscure voices, Flying Off Tunnels, and Adventuring In the Dark. Unfortunately, today is Supination, Merkels and Meissner cells, Stratified Epithelium, Addison's Disease, Langerhaun cells, and all that good stuff. Yeah, we all have to go back to the real world. Such a shame though. However, on the brightside, I think I passed my Anatomy test. Or at least I should have since I studied my butt off.
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I think that's all I got from me today. Sorry, cause I took a break from reading people's blogs yesterday. I just had a lot going on. I'll try to be catching up on them. I also tried to end this on a lighter note. Because I'm not really super sad, and I don't want you to be sad either. I've actually been doing remarkably awesome. A lot of things have been going swell for me. Just as I mentioned, sometimes you have to ackowledge things and not ignore them. Just as long as you remember to be okay afterwords.
Sorry you're feeling down, it's so hard to loose people. One exercise for grief, is making a floating lantern, say a prayer for the person, and let it off in the sky. Send all your grief and unhappiness away with that lantern, and promise yourself to focus on the good times you two had, the happy memories that exist.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you lost a friend! ((Hugs)) <3
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean. There's so much constant pain surrounding each of us, but there's enough good things that it can be sort of easier to ignore the pain, especially when its a sort of distant pain. But its a good thing to address the pain, let it sober us, remind us of God's grace and love.
ReplyDeleteI liked this post because of how you decided to not ignore the pain like so many do. <3
xx
I am sorry that you feel sad but I am glad you can open up to us on here. That's what great about blogging - we are all here for each other...friends across the miles. I am a firm believer that the beauty in life always surpasses the bad things in life. I know it doesn't always seem that way, but I have found it to be true.
ReplyDeleteI think what Pastor said last night is really fitting for this: how it can hurt that someone died and is gone, but it is glorious and amazing for that person. And how God can take the ones He loves to be home with Him so they don't have to suffer on Earth anymore.
ReplyDeleteLove ya! :) Hope you feel better.
I am so sorry about your friend's girlfriend. I know that must still hurt. It's inspiring though with your message to "be okay" afterwards. Thank you for that reminder, Sophie! God's peace is more powerful than I let myself realize. <3
ReplyDeleteI hear ya. I have those times too, especially with my brother in law who passed away almost two years ago. Times come when you just can't stop thinking about them and how great they were and how much it still hurts. It's easier to avoid those times, but sometimes we have to absolutely embrace them, cause I think it's better to hurt like heck and be alive than to cover it up and suffer silently. (not saying that you do that!) But I just want to encourage you that its okay and good to write posts like this. Maybe not all the time, cause nobody wants to read a blog that's only filled with sad things. But you probably noticed in all these comments that everyone can relate to you and reacted wonderfully to your emotions :)
ReplyDeleteP.S. thaaaaaaaaaaaank you so so much for praying for me. It really means so much knowing that :)
Oh P.P.S. I like your new layout!
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