The Dead Poet's Society

This movie is gold for so many reasons.


But one of the things I like about it is because I can relate to the character Todd Anderson. His character is my absolute favorite.


You see, Todd is seemingly shy starting out. He does NOT want to speak out. But in the movie he is brought up in front of the class and told to speak a poem with his eyes closed and he spouts out this wonderful poem. And I think Todd wasn’t as insecure as it came across that he was. I know I’m not as insecure as I come across as sometimes.


The thing is, Todd Andersons get it. They see the truth in situations. Like towards the end of the movie when the parents of Neil and the principal ask him questions if he agreed that the teacher was a bad influence and etc., and you can see the words choking Todd being stuck in his throat cause the truth that the teacher did not cause Neil’s death and wasn’t a bad influence was dying to come out of his mouth. He gets it and his insides want to scream it out until the words drip down his tongue and into the souls of those in the room listening.


But Todd Andersons, although they want to speak up and spout the truth, they keep their mouth shut. They keep their mouth shut because their lips are glued together even if the words are pushing and pulsating against their very mouths. They do this, not because they are insecure and afraid to speak it, but because they know what they speak is the truth and no one wants to listen to the truth. The truth is hard. The truth hurts. The truth is ugly.
Sometimes the non Todd Andersons pity the Todd Andersons but I, a Todd Anderson, think the non Todd Andersons are to be pitied. Because they don’t grasp the truth, they remain ignorant to things they should fix or know  and they don’t listen when  the Todd’s speak. And so, we don’t keep our mouths shut because we’re afraid to speak, we keep our mouths shut because sometimes we realize that it doesn’t matter what we speak because no one will listen.

Definitions

Tension (n):
A magnetic force field lingering in the air, ripping a person farther and farther apart from another one until it separates them from each other completely and remaining that way forever unless the force field is destroyed . Tension pollutes the very air that surrounds the two people that the force field is trying to separate them from and everyone in the midst of it can taste the uneasiness in the air they inhale.

Everytime I look into the mirror,
I’m reminded that we’re all fogged up glasses.
Trying to see with eyes as clear as they can be,
But still with a close minded mentality.
Is this the fate of reality?

Hello

Hey, so when I took my very long break from blogging in which you were not sure whether or not I'm coming back, I learned a few things. So, I will share what I learned but I have to say that I probably won't be returning. Towards the end of my blogging route, I mainly felt pressured to keep up the blog than actually enjoying blogging like I did originally when I first started out. I'll still keep my blog up because I did share a lot of writings, thoughts, that sometimes I need to look back over again and be reminded of or re-discover. However, here is my explanation of why I won't return and what I learned;


I spent a lot of my life insecure of myself and trying to find security in other people’s opinions of me, and how popular I was or wasn’t. But I’ve learned a lot about me this year, and I’ve grown to like me and feel secure about myself and I don’t think it was until then that others became secure in me because they really got to know me. I wasn’t a girl cautious of actions for fear of what people might think, I am a girl who is me and doesn’t have to think before being herself anymore or letting her guard down and I think people can notice that because when you’re cautious I think people aren’t sure why you aren’t yourself. Instead they question you, and question whether they can be their self around you. It doesn’t make you popular and it doesn’t feed you self confidence. That has to come from yourself. And now, I don’t care whether I’m popular or whether people like me. I don’t do things to get attention or to be well liked. When I write something, I write something for me. When I create something, I create something for me. And I don’t feel the need to post everything I write or create in hopes that people will accept me. Some things I create or write simply for myself. And I think that’s a great feeling, and a great feat to accomplish. I am in no means self-absorbed or so highly full of myself. I know I have flaws, faults, just like everyone else. But I have learned that there are some things you can’t change and shouldn’t have to change, but rather embrace. And that’s where the true beauty lies. So my point in this was that I think I did rely or seek acceptance through your opinions of my writings and how popular my postings got. I created them no longer for me, but for my audience. Now, not only am I not so focused on writing a post every day that I forget to breathe and live life, I am living life and I'm still writing and creating, only I am doing it for me now. I write songs, I write poems, I even wrote my own story and I write until I, myself, am satisfied with the outcome. And I'm still dancing, and going to school, and I'm getting good grades for myself, and dancing as well as I can for myself, and making friends by being myself. I am still having pie nights, watching Disney movies, reading really good books, and trying to strengthen my walk with my Savior Jesus Christ. Therefore, everything is going well with me, and I hope things are going well with you. I hope you all are writing for yourself, creating for yourself, and are comfortable with yourself and how God made you. I hope you don't get wrapped up with the need to feel accepted or popular in this world, because that isn't what life is about and it can't promise you happiness and it doesn't really matter at all at the end of all things. It really doesn't.

And so, this is where I leave off letting you know what I discovered and why I can't go back. Because I am not who I was then, and I have things to do and life to live and I don't ever want to go back into the habit of living and writing to impress.

HAPPY THANKSGIVIN'

Just popped in to say I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and are as excited as I am for the Christmas season.

MERRY CHRISTMAS SEASON!

Is this Goodbye?

Dear Blogging World,

Is this Goodbye?
I don't know.
 I wanted to say I'm sorry though for not posting for so long and without an explanation.
I definitely have not been feeling motivated to blog anymore as of now.
Blogging can be enjoyable but it's also stressful.
You feel like you need to keep up with it constantly, to check out everybody else's blogs, and sometimes it even feels like a competition.
I mean people can get competitive over blogs and want theirs to be better than yours.
And then sometimes you lose the point of your blog; which is to inspire, and instead you just want or are waiting for comments and new followers so you can be proud of your blog.
And if you don't get comments or followers, you think no one is reading your blog.
Which then turns stressful again because you think; What's the point of my blog then?

Well, here's what I have to say. Blogging seems to go in and out with people. Sometimes, they are consistent, sometimes they are inspired, and sometimes they have free time. They'll post when they can, and read when they can. That's how it should be with you too. You shouldn't take it so personally in the blogging world or worry if your post gets a lot of views or not. Just post it and see what happens. If nothing happens, nothing happens. It's not a competition and you don't have to get a bunch of comments on every post.

This is what I think I've learned from my break. I've slightly missed blogging because I miss documenting my adventures or thoughts. But at the same time, it's immensely freeing to not have to worry about it. I'm afraid that if I start back up, I'll get sucked up again and lose sight of the fun in it.

SO, I don't think I'm ready to come back yet. Maybe over the Christmas holidays, or after the Christmas holidays, I'll have a few posts up my sleeve. But, I'm not 100% positive yet. We'll see.

Until then, I hope you are all doing well. I am doing well. November has been treating me well. I promise. The colder weather, the Starbucks holiday cups, the premiere of Thor 2, the fairgrounds, and the promise of an upcoming Thanksgiving break and Christmas season has kept me happy and content. How's your November? Go ahead and describe it to me in the comments, I promise I'll read them all when I get back on here next.

I will be back... this is only goodbye for now.

Love,
Sophie

I don't understand why the sea is so salty.
I don't understand why when I look into the ocean, I see a fragment of who I used to be and the tears I used to cry.
I don't understand how the waves just carry on endlessly and never tire.
I don't understand why we can't be like waves, carrying on endlessly without tiring.
Why the seagulls cries sounds like the voice in my head mocking me for dreaming.
Why I could never just enjoy the ride and be normal instead of creating metaphors and calling back memories and holding on and letting go and analyzing and remembering.

I do understand boats.
I understand how they are strong and dependent (usually).
How they carry you away from wherever you are, happy to take you to new sights and to see new things.
I understand how they can just float a long, happy to be their self.
I don't understand why the sea is unsettling but boats are calming.

One and One does not always make two.
Rhymes don't always equal me and you.








October, I understand we must say goodbye to you.