Five Feet Apart

Yesterday evening I watched this sappy and tear-jerking movie called "Five Feet Apart".

It was one of those movies where you look at the male lead actor and you sigh and you think to yourself;

"If only I could find someone who loved me like that."

In this movie the male lead actor says to the woman lead; "You're perfect."

Listening to him say this with so much honesty in his voice (for he truly believes what he's saying) and seeing him look at her with pure admiration made my heart swoon as I'm sure it did to all the females in the movie theater. 

I mean, who wouldn't want to be told that?

Well, actually, I started thinking about this and I thought over and over again about how greatly I'm not perfect.

That fictional character (had it been real), wouldn't have been perfect either.

She would have been a sinner just like the rest of us.

She would have made mistakes.

She would have gotten on his nerves and they would have argued and they would have fought.

Given him enough time, even if he thought she was perfect in the beginning, he would not think she was perfect in the end.

But that all being said,

I thought about how that's where true love actually begins.

It's when you realize that person is not perfect but full of imperfections and flaws and mistakes but you love them just the same.

You love that person through the imperfections.

And that, I believe is even more romantic.

Think about how easy it'd be to love a perfect person.

If I was in her shoes and I was told I was perfect while I was imperfect, 

I don't think I would like it very much.

For I know I'm not perfect and it'd be a lie.

I think I'd rather have my imperfections acknowledged and I'd much rather be loved in spite of them and through them than to be told the lie that I am perfect when I know I am most certainly not.

In conclusion,

I think I need to stay away from these type of sappy movies.

Why I Don't Wear Bikini's

To start off this blog post, I'm going to put out this disclaimer:

If you are a bikini wearer, this post is not meant to make you feel guilt or shame and it's not a post about me judging you if you wear one.

This post is written to explain myself and share my story and my reasons why I don't wear them.

I feel like I may step on some people's toes in writing this, but my purpose is to enlighten and not admonish. I hope I portray that correctly in my writing. 

That all being said, I love you guys, and here I go...

"Why don't you wear a bikini? If I was as skinny as you, I'd be showing off my body."

"You've got a good beach body; you should feel confident enough to wear a bikini."

These are things I hear from people. These are statements I get from them on the subject of what I wear to the beach or when I go swimming. So, I thought I'd address these statements and I thought I would address them to those who may be thinking them but not asking them.

Have I ever felt tempted to wear a bikini?

Yes.

A lot of the time actually.

I've seen the way guys react to girls wearing bikinis.

I've seen attractive guys give the glances of admiration and approval.

I've noticed that the girls who post pictures of themselves in bikinis get a significantly higher amount of likes on Instagram versus the girls who just post pictures of sunsets, or pictures of them making goofy faces with friends.

Is it tempting to do the same?

Yes.

Those exact mentioned statements are reasons why I don't.

I am just as beautiful of a girl when I don't wear a bikini and when I wear a swimsuit covering a larger portion of my body.

I don't need to show it off.

If I showed off more of my body, I know the sole purpose would be to get that attention and get those extra likes.

But the thing is that I know I don't need them.

For I am confident in who I am in Christ and that's only kind of confidence I really need.

In fact, if my attention is focused on getting guy's attention and approval, it ultimately makes me less confident and it takes my focus off of the one who matters most in my life.

As well as this, it also turns my attention to my outward appearance in which won't ever stay the same as it is now and it's not what I want a guy to notice me for.

I want a guy to notice me for who I am on the inside.

We're going to get old, people.

We're going to get gray hairs.

We're going to get wrinkles.

It won't be pretty.

Beauty is fleeting.

The inside is what counts.

But, what kind of statement would I be making when I wear a bikini to show off my body?

I'd be saying the exact opposite and beckoning guys to look at what's on the outside first.

I'd be beckoning girls to compare their bodies to mine.

I'd be setting an example for other girls to disregard their inward appearance and focus on the outward.

So, yes, I am tempted quite often to wear one and show off my body and get the attention plenty of other girls seem to get and I don't when I go to the beach.

I'm tempted when I see all the likes they get on their Instagram pictures at the beach.

I am tempted.

But, I disregard it every time because I am not trying to please myself but please Christ and bring glory to Him.

I know if I did otherwise, it would not bring Him glory for my attention would be focused on all the wrong things and not focused on Him or bringing glory to Him.

And in the end, I think I'd be giving myself this fake confidence that I'm only worth something when I get that kind of attention. I know I wouldn't always attract the type of guys I want to attract either;

The guys that do look at the heart and not just the body.

I hope this post didn't come across as judgmental, but explained my struggle and gave the answers to the questions I've gotten and will probably continue to get. I almost didn't write this for fear of the flack I might get in doing so, but I felt like it was worth sharing nonetheless for this is my story and my reasons and I felt like maybe some people feel the same way and needed to be encouraged as well.