The Girl With her Hair in a Bun

There is this girl who often wears her thick hair in a bun.

She doesn't have to wear any make-up because she's absolutely stunning.

She drinks up French Press coffee, and she'll talk to you in an art form you can't explain.

She dances around and sings (but beautifully not like an average person would dance around and sing like.)

She's hilarious.

She gets poetry books to read on her Spring Break.

Her music collection is vast and eclectic but good.

She's one of a kind and I got the privilege to hang out with her and talk to her this lovely evening.

I've certainly missed her;

 the girl with her hair in a bun.

Dear Love of Mine,

I want to tell you things but I don't even know you yet.

But I want you to know that I :

already love you,

am already praying for you,

 and will wait for you for as long as it takes.

Sincerely,

Your Sweetheart

I'll tell you a story when I know what it is I want to say...

New Beginnings

Spring has always been labeled as the time of new beginnings.

New life is sprouting up and so are new beginnings.

That's the symbol of spring.

But, I've never really thought like that when spring arrived.

I guess I felt like it was just a continuation of winter.

That everything was just strung together, coming and going.

But honestly, this spring, feels like new beginnings.

 

Start overs.

 

Making everything fresh and white and clean.

 

Sometimes friendships break.

And you let it go because you have to.

But sometimes they come back.

A new start is made.

 

I've had that happen twice in this Spring.

 

I've never had that happen before.

But now, Spring has lived up to its expectations.

It's beautiful; a start over.

 

 

Today's my last day of classes before spring break.

I am more than excited.

:D

A Yellow Coffee Cup

a yellow coffee cup,

a soul of paper-clippings and photographs,

dreams on etch-sketches,

the unusual forest green color painted on my nails,

the melodies making my head bob,

---

---

I'm classic literature,

And you're Starry Night,

But, speaking of the night, it wore a suit and tie because of the occasion even though I still don't know what the occasion was...

Yes, tonight was a yellow coffee cup

Oh time, what a witty thing you are-

Time is a funny thing.

It can make a human who once sat next to you and pour out her heart to you become a person who sits on the other end of the room acknowledging your existence only on occasion.

It can make an old best friend become an acquaintance to becoming new friends all over again.

It can make a person who once was someone you ran into every so often and shared a few laughs together to a person who you spend most of your moments with laughing,crying, and sharing the sweetest saddest moments of life together.

It can make (when there's distance involved) a close friend even closer through the sharing of memories and unique findings posted on a letter and enclosed in an envelope.

If one were to ask me at the beginning of all these human interactions how each would turn out - I would never have guessed they'd be how they are now.

Time and circumstance changes things around in life.

And to think, I may not have even met the middle of my life yet.

Used to be strangers, friends who are now strangers, and just strangers in general-

They astound me.

A golden heart

If you have a friend who's heart is made out of gold, keep that friend forever close. Because a golden heart is rare. Beauty that shines from the inside is always the prettiest. Although some may disagree, it's also beautiful because it makes you examine your heart to see what color your heart is and what darkness lurks there and needs to be cleaned out. When you examine your heart, that's when you can give up your sins and the darkness to God. Some might not like golden hearts because they don't want this conviction. But conviction helps make your heart closer to gold but more importantly, closer to God. And friends that encourage you to draw nearer to the Lord are the best kind of friends.

Catch me if I fall asleep

Sometimes I don't want to fall asleep because my life seems like a really good dream. I just had a really wonderful weekend with my friend and I really just treasure being able to do almost anything with her and enjoying it. Videogames, movie watching, nail painting, endless funny videos, inspirational videos, late night talks every night, and just adventures always.

 

I only met her last semester, but I know she's a lifelong friend already. Friends like these are very rare to find. And I've been lucky to have known and have so many friends already too! I'm just so thankful. For my friends, my family, my life, and ultimately my Lord.

 

I know I've been through rough patches in my life and will go through more in the future.

But I am so thankful even just for my Savior dying on the cross for me and the undeserving grace I've been given. It's already too much that He has given me. And yet, He blesses me with more and I'm just overly grateful. He doesn't have to bless me with anything in life. He didn't have to bless me by giving me life. But He did. And I'm overwhelmed.

 

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." --James 1:17

 

My unchanging, beautiful, glorious, all powerful and mighty Lord,

I am yours.

 

For now maybe a stranger...

Right now, you may be just a stranger or it's possible we may know each other. All I know is that right now our lives aren't meant to be intertwined. A lot of times I am anxious to find out who you are. A lot of times I try to pick people to fit the mold. But really, right now, I have not found somebody that I know I am supposed to be with. I do not think that now is the time. I don't know when will be the time for me to meet you or if I ever will. I feel like this a struggle present in a lot of single women's lives - waiting. But it really can be a blessing in some ways. Here at school, couples are popping up like daisies and I can tell that it's Spring. And even though sometimes I feel envious of love, there are a lot of couples that I know are not experiencing love and probably will break up in a matter of weeks. I know I don't want that. I'd rather be not in live and patiently waiting for the love of my life, than entering a relationship that I feel isn't quite love and probably won't last. God knows what He's doing, and all though it can be hard to wait, obviously His timing and will is always the best and will be the most rewarding. And don't get me wrong, sometimes I love being single. Sometimes I don't know if I'd be able to handle the pressures of a relationship. Relationships are a lot of work. I know when it's time it'll be worth the work... But right now I'm thankful and happy to be spending time focusing on God's love, my family's love and my friend's love. Their love is just as important to me ( and of course Gods love is even more important) and I think it's important to cherish that time with them because it will be different one day. It will still be beautiful, but it won't be the same when I am with the love of my life. There will be changes. Undeniably.

I just know that I'm where I'm supposed to be, and I'll be where I'm supposed to be too.
Everything in His timing.
The future is exciting and so is the present.

nevermore to be again

Piano keys,

and your song sung out of tune,

and the words you ate for breakfast without milk,

and the eyes that wouldn't meet yours,

and the path that looked like mud and tasted like grass but felt like stones,

and the heart that was fractured in seven different places.

 

Once,

but nevermore to be again,

always.

Tropical Tuesdays

Honestly, this Florida weather couldn't be any better. It is like the summer people dream of but in spring form. I'm sure in Summer I will drown in my own sweat and my tears will be disguised as perspiration, but for now, it's simply beautiful. My Tuesday was homework, an spontaneous mid-afternoon starbucks run, working on a project while listening to islandy music (ukuleles made quite a few appearances in the songs I listened to), went on a pancake adventure driving down to the beach side and wearing green because it was st.patty's day and ihop was giving free pancakes for people dressing like neon green aliens, complimentary valet parking and a gentleman who opened the door for me, an adventure to a beach I never had been to before, climbing and taking pictures on rocks that overlooked the sparkling waters smiling at me, worship songs with my unit, and game playing.

This past Tropical Tuesday was the best. I tell you what. I have school in the day but my evenings feel like mini teases of spring break. But it's nice to be able to experience Florida beach weather with some school friends who live up North and don't get to experience this beautiful thing I used to take for granted. A lot are flying back to their homes on spring break and it'll be nice to have spring break with my family and Florida friends who are away at school. I know life is full of changes, but I'm thankful for a lot of them. And some things don't even change but my outlook on them has and let's face it, so have I. I will always change in some ways and so will you. I just keep hoping that my changes are for the better.

"The seasons have changed, and so have we. There was little we could say, and even little we could do to stop the ice from getting thinner, between me and you." -- Death Cab for Cutie

I know I may not always live in FL or have time to relax in the sun and frolick at the beach. So I love it even more knowing I might not have access to it someday. Mind you, it may not be for awhile . When I move from it, it might be my own choice. Or I might not move at all. I'll go wherever God wants me to. But I'm just recognizing the fact that change does happen and sometimes we mourn the time that has passed us instead of being grateful for the time we had.

Friends change, people grow old, birds fly south, kids become adults, perceptions shift,
but God remains the same.
Today, Yesterday, and Forever.

Adventures Galore

My life is a sweater knit of adventures.

Yesterday, sweet yesterday, was the sound of canaries, the smell of lavender and everything glorious.

 

It was tanning and sunshine and walks and free ice cream cones from Dairy Queen and four chicks with the car window down and an array of music playing (but all the very best kind) of les miserables, phantom of the opera, and Disney and reaching the ocean waves while saying goodbye to the sun and being shadowy silhouettes and trekking to the mall and taking pictures for a school project and free cups of tea from Teavanna (not sample cups, like, big cups) and a night of worship and night ending in good talks about the Bible and Mere Christianity.

 

Now, if my English professors were to read this they would frown upon me and my lack of grammar used here. They'd furrow their eyebrows at my run-on sentence.

 

But, you know, it's my blog,

Therefore,

I can, use, too, many, commas, or not enough and leave out periods if I want to where periods should be

 

That's my story.

That was my freshly mowed grass Monday.

 

I hope yours tasted like strawberries and looked like aquamarine.

Have Courage and Be Kind

This weekend, was beautiful.
Friday, was full of impromptu happenings.
I was straight haired and makeup free, and carefree.
My friends and I randomly decided to go watch Cinderella.
We went to a theater and it was sold out.
So, we went to another theater and their only showing left was 9:40 although it was around 7:45 when we got there.
It was inside of the mall though, so we purchased our tickets and looked around in the mall.
We spent a lot of time in the Disney store, singing the songs and admiring the Disney mugs and shirts and plushes.
We also went to Teavana and sampled all of the teas.
Then we made our way back and waited in line forever.
But we sat on the carpet and just talked and awaited in burning up anticipation together.
It was beautiful.
We're college students.
But that night, we were just wide-eyed children who couldn't contain our excitement.
We finally came in the theater and sat up close and enjoyed the movie.
After the movie was done, it was 11:40 pm. We had to be back to our dorms at midnight.
We were Cinderellas.
The magic was going to wear off at midnight.
We ran across the other end of the mall (which was all closed and empty) to get out and to our car.
We finally reached the main exit and it was locked.
We saw a security guard who let us take the employee sketch exit.
We made it outside and it was raining (which it does in the movie on Cinderella's way back to her house), and got into the car and made it back to campus at midnight.

It was surreal and freeing.
Sometimes I don't like the rain.
But the rain was freeing to walk in as my nostrils welcomed the scent coming off the pavement and my hands reached to the air as I swirled around and ran to my room to get my stuff. I brought my stuff back to my friend's room and we talked and laughed and read the Bible and had a great evening.

In the morning, we went to brunch and laughed with people and ate chocolate chip pancakes.

Then I headed home where I got to spend some relaxing time with my family.
I ate pizza. I went and saw my younger sister dance in a dance production and saw my older sister's choreography. I saw my old dance friends and then my family and I went out for ice cream too.

Sunday, I went to church and then to the beach to soak up some sun and actually braced the water that was shining like diamonds and got my hair salty and wet and caught up with a friend from church who was on spring break. Then I went to our church's coffee house and had many sweets, listened to many songs, and drank a lot of coffee. I ended it with watching Once Upon a Time before heading up back to school.


It was so eventful and refreshing and I really love my family.
I do.

And today is Monday, but it's not a bad Monday. It's a beautiful one too.
Life is full of moments.
Cherish them all.

The Secret Keeper

There once was a girl who was a secret keeper. She bottled other people's secrets like ships in a jar. But sometimes she really longed that people didn't tell her them because she wished to set the ships free to sail the sea.

Coffee Break

Today I have felt really tired. I feel like school's taking it's toll on me. However, I got to rest up a bit. I don't know why but I have been swarmed with memories of the past recently. In forms of music, in forms of conversations with people I used to know, just everything. The past is good; it made me who I am. But sometimes looking at the past just makes me feel ghost like. I had a large free coffee though and dinnertime everything was hilarious for no reason and so there were ups about today.  I just feel a sea of emotions sometimes and it's tiring. I have good friends and I have a good life. And I have the best God. So, I am happy. I just need to re-shift my focus. I need to live in the now and stop visiting the past. My coffee break is over.

Sunshine and Daisies

Minus the daisies.

Today was a good day and last night was a good night. I got to spend sometime with my roomie getting free iced dunkin donuts and then we watched the Blind Side together. After that, I went to worship night and it was just really encouraging and uplifting as usual.

Today, I spent a lot of time in the sunshine. I soaked up some sun, walked around and got to catch up with an old friend of mine, and went for a walk on the beach with my friend Grace. Afterwards I went to dinner and after dinner I watched two episodes of Criminal Minds and now I am re-living my childhood by watching Flicka. 

It was just really good, and I am extremely joyful.

 The Lord is good.

 I keep realizing that over and over again.

 I'll happily re-realize that until the day I die - which is when I'll be able to realize it for once and for always,

I struggle; I do

I'm not going to lie.
I struggle a lot when people commit suicide.
I know I shouldn't dwell on it when people do so, but I can't help it.
I just don't- I can't- understand.
My brain doesn't get it.

I know people get depressed.
I know people think about ending their lives...
but how do they do it?
How do they throw away their lives.
How do they go through with it?

There was this girl who used to go to the same school I went to.
She got an illness and she decided to end her life because of it.
She wrote her mom a suicide letter saying she was sorry but she couldn't keep fighting it.
She jumped off a parking garage at an airport.
She ended her life.

I didn't even know her that well,
I wasn't even close with her,
and I'm struggling.

I don't get it.

I can't help but think of her poor mother and father and her two brothers.

I can't help but picture their faces when they received the news and saw the note.

I can't help but feel so so sad for them.
And wonder why.

All I know is that God is sovereign.
I know that her parents and brothers have the God of all comfort on their side.
I know they'll be okay.
But it's going to be hard to reach that point.

This life is full of suffering, but we must keep fighting.
We must keep running the race and keeping the faith until the finish line.
Our lives are not our own.
Our jobs here on earth is not done while we're still alive.
We must share the Good News.

The ONLY hope here on earth is through Christ and Christ alone.

People need to know about the hope that we have,
the redemption that is offered to us.

The joy that awaits us.
Where no more pain will exist,
no more tears.

We're going to be alright.
We are going to be alright.
We have a lifetime of Heaven to look forward to.

I just want the others around me to have a lifetime of Heaven to look forward to as well.
I want my feet to be beautiful feet.
I want my life to be meaningful .
For a life void of Christ, is not a life at all.

I hope you, dear readers, know this.
The news I received is sad. I'm sure it saddened you too.
But I also hope that you take comfort in the fact that Jesus died for our sins so that we may live an eternal life with Him full of joy and no more pain and I hope that you can feel this comfort and peace because you have accepted Him as your Savior and accepted Him into your life acknowledging what He has done for you and every person here on earth.
If you can't take comfort in that because you do not believe in my Savior, I pray for you.
And I hope that you ask questions and leave comments and be willing to talk to me about what you believe and we can have a conversation. I would love to talk to you about love eternal.

I want to encourage believers to spread the Gospel because people need to hear it.
I want to encourage believers (and nonbelievers) to not end their lives no matter what you're going through.
There is more than one reason why you are here on earth.
You have so much to do, and so much to live for.
And there is reason to have joy.
That reason is called Jesus Christ.

Live.
And live it truly.
Because as I said, a life without Christ, is not a life at all.

Waitressing Life

Our school put on a Murder Mystery Dinner last night and I've been busy helping out with that.

On Wednesday, I helped mix a sauce to heavily coat the chicken.

It took a long time actually.

Especially mixing the ingredients with a spatula in a huge bowl.

My hand was literally cramping.

But one of my good guy friends helped me out and it was actually fun.

We had fun being stubborn and not highfiving and sharing in the suffering and dancing to the Cuban shuffle while waiting for the chicken to coat.

Then, here is the agenda of my Thursday:

 

Go to class number 1 -> 20 minute lunch -> class number 2 -> helping decorate the dining hall for the mystery dinner (which included a lot of placing plastic silverware and bowls on tables) -> an hour break -> dinner time (which actually consisted of cocoa puffs) -> Helping coat some more chicken with the goop around 5:30 -> receiving serving instructions -> serving bread baskets to salad bowls to scooping chicken and beans and rice on plates to give to other servers to serving cake -> eating a little bit of a real dinner and taking like a 20 minute break -> cleaning an unending amount of dishes -> ending around 11:00 at night -> going on a walk with a friend and helping her out -> BED.

 

It's been busy, but it has been fun. Waitressing is sort of stressful but I also have always found it sort of fun too. I don't know it's only a taste of what real waitresses experience and it's a lot of hardwork, but it's also somewhat exciting and you feel so accomplished too. It was tiring, but it was fun.

 

Now, it's Friday. And I'm so ready for the weekend.

Spring has Sprung

Even though I still have three weeks until my spring break, I feel like it's spring.

The weather here in FL is finally sunny and warm.

It is my best friend's spring break.

We went and got free pancakes yesterday and went to All About Puppies.

Even though I had to eventually come back and go to classes, it felt like a taste of a break.

Last night consisted of game playing, hot chocolate, and watching/cheering on my friends' kickball team.

The artificial light was bright, the smell of sweat was almost unbearable, the bleachers still as uncomfortable as ever, and my friends' team lost. 

But it was great. It felt like a taste of summer, and that's what spring feels like to me.

I used to not like spring.

I used to not like summer.

I'm starting to like and appreciate all the seasons for what they are.

Simplic to the t

Monday was a really chill day filled with a mixture of responsible things (like working ahead on hw), time to myself (like playing the guitar), time with the roomie (watching once upon a time episodes), the best lunch ever and the weirdest conversations ever, getting a b on my horrible Spanish test, worship night and testimony sharing of what God's been doing in our lives, and the most nerve-racking game of Resistance ever but the best pay off ever too.

 

It was really a beautiful day all around.